Journey

6 Months!

2010-10-25T20:14:00.000-07:00

Eli is officially 6 months old! I can't believe it. He has changed so much this month and the time has flown by! He is a lot more observant and curious now. He wants to know what is going on at all times and if I bring him somewhere, he is always sweeping his gaze back and forth to take it all in. It is super cute because when we are at home he is really verbal but when we are out a lot of times he is very quiet because there's so much for him to learn about!
Some of the new things he learned how to do this month was eat solid foods!! The foods he's tried and loved are; carrots, peaches, pears, peas, and figs. The foods he's tried and kind of liked; prunes and bananas. The foods he can't stand: rice cereal and applesauce. he is supposed to eat rice cereal for the iron every day but he spits it out everytime even when I mix it with fruit.
He also has learned to roll really well! He can roll both ways and several times in a row!
He can also sit up for long periods of time which is so fun! He loves to be either sitting or standing with help.
Sleep has been a huge challenge this month. He has a harder time going to sleep nursing, he's way more aware so he has a hard time going to sleep if things are going on, he can sit up in his swing and it looks like he's going to leap out so I have a hard time letting him sleep in there and he used to love it. We have been working on helping him learn to fall asleep on his own and he's making progress. Going to bed at night he can sleep if u put a gentle hand on his belly which is huge progress from how hard it used to be to get him to sleep. But waking up in the middle of the night and naps are still an issue. He's been doing pretty great in the car which is so awesome. Anyway I am rambling! He is a joy and he's enjoying pumpkin season. We went to disneyland with him. So fun! And got him a pirate costume for halloween. So wonderful having a little kiddo around. ;-)

5 months and changing every day!

2010-09-17T14:44:00.000-07:00

I have to say that this has been my absolute favorite month with my little man Eli. He is a ball of energy, smile, and laughs. He loves to play, explore, and venture outside of our home. This month we have gone on adventures every day, and he has grown in leaps and bounds!
Some exciting changes are:
He is doing SOOOO much better in the car! I no longer dread driving with him.
He LOVES to stand and is even strong enough to stand up if he's only holding onto our fingers!
He ALMOST can sit up by himself! He can do it for a bit but then will topple.
He is still working on rolling both ways, but he's a lot closer. For some reason, his favorite place to roll is the changing table.
He is 20.5 pounds and 25 inches long! Super big boy wearing anywhere from 3-9 month clothing depending on the brand.
He is such a happy camper! He smiles all the time now!
We joined two mom's groups, and he's getting so much better at being around people he doesn't know. His favorite activity is observing the other little babies. ;-)
He is getting even better at falling asleep at night since we adding a bath every night to his bedtime routine. "He sleeps through the night," 8pm-4am, a short feed, and then till about 6 am about 5 nights a week.
I'm more in love with our little bug EVERY SINGLE DAY!! I'm so blessed to be his mom, and I have to say that I do love being a stay at home mom.
We are still working on taking consistent naps, sometimes he will only sleep for 10 minutes, which is super frustrating, but other than that, he is doing fantastic!!
We are excited to introduce solid foods at the end of the fifth month so just a few more weeks! I already bought his rice cereal because I was so excited, and I have a handy bullet blender to make homemade baby food.
For some reason, I can't get the pictures to work so befriend me on Facebook if you want to see a bunch of photos of him. ;-)

4 months old!

2010-08-24T09:57:00.000-07:00

Eli is now 4 months old! He has changed SO much since he was born, and it is so fun to see him grow and develop! We went to the doctor yesterday, and he weighed 18 lbs, 12 ounces putting him in the 98th percentile. He is 25 inches tall so only in the 57% percentile for height. We may have a wrestler on our hands. ;-)
Eli's newest favorite thing is standing. He loves to push himself up and stand while he holds onto helpful fingers. It's amazing how strong he's getting. He also really loves all his toys! He loves to play with them, throw them down, and suck on them. He chews on everything, our fingers included, and drools like a leaky faucet. He's started wearing bibs half the time. ;-)
He also got a new Excercizer that he stands up in outside that he loves. He will play with the toys that are attached and gently rock the entire Excerizer back and forth. I have a feeling that once he starts to crawl we might have a hard time catching him. He loves to move.
One of the cutest things he's started to do is to laugh! ;-) It's so fun throughout the day to try and get him to laugh by making funny noises or tickling sounds. He loves farting noises. ;-)
He has his first cold right now, which is super sad, and I really hope he recovers soon. He still can't stand driving places and only can stand his stroller for about 20 min. before he starts to whine. He either wants to be free on the ground or in someone's arms. One of our lifelines has been his carriers. I'm wearing him right now, and he fell asleep. He loves to cuddle close to us, and it allows the fam to be able to go to Sea World and the OC swap meet without so much as a fuss.
Eli is such a good boy, and we are so proud of him. He sits in his high chair during meals, and he brings huge smiles to our faces every day. I'm SO thankful to be his mom!

14 weeks

2010-08-01T16:50:00.000-07:00

So I haven't written in the blog in a million years, but I am so enjoying life with our little man. I spend so much amazing and precious time with him every day that I don't know what else to write about besides him, our new little bugger. So I figured that I would write about him from his perspective. Thanks, Sarah, for the idea. ;-)

So here's what Eli would say. If he could talk. ;-)
So, now I'm 14 weeks old. I'm getting pretty big. When my mom weighed me a few days ago, I was already 17.8 pounds. I'm wearing clothes for 3-6 month old and am in a size 3 diaper.
My mom always tells me what an amazing sleeper I am so I guess it's impressive. My mom even says I'm a better sleeper than her. I'd say it's what I'm best at besides smiling and eating. Every night I go to sleep in my crib around 9 PM. Then I usually wake up for some early morning breakfast around 4 or 5 am, but most mornings I don't want to wake up quite yet and will fall asleep again for another hour or two. But that's not enough sleep for me. I will then usually take 2- 2 hour naps during the day. During the day, I like sleeping in my swing. I love my swing and my rain music that I listen to so that I can sleep better. I still love being swaddled, but this past few weeks I've taken a lot of naps without my swaddle and my mom has started keeping one of my arms outside of my swaddle so that I can learn to sleep through the night without it.
I love my life because every day we get to do my favorite things. My very favorite thing is spending time with my mom and dad. I love it when they hold me and carry me around and help me to dance and sit up. I love to smile for them and talk to them and have even laughed a few times. My other favorite things to do are playing in my jungle, playing with all my fun toys and putting them in my mouth, and going on walks with my mom.
I don't like driving in the car very much, but I guess I'm starting to get used to it. I can't wait until I can finally crawl! I move my arms and legs around all day, but I haven't been able to move except to roll over.
Until next time. Eli ;-)

How he Loves Us!

2010-06-27T21:16:00.000-07:00

Today has been a big day of realizing things. I'm not sure why. I think it's because Joe left for the night. Whenever that happens, I'm hit head on with one of my biggest weaknesses, fear. I have been afraid of the dark and being alone for as long as I can remember. Joe is always telling me: all you have to do is choose not to be afraid or all you have to do is choose to have a good attitude or to choose make today the best day ever. Joe is an amazing guy, and he has the best attitude and he's so amazing for me but sometimes those things are really hard to do. But I tried tonight for him. And for some reason, tonight it worked.
God doesn't want me to live in fear and even though my imagination is super vivid and when I look out into a dark night I can imagine things being there (have u ever read my book, My Darkness?) it doesn't mean that there aren't ways to overcome those fears.
I believe are culture is very inundated with violence, and it's part of my problem. The movies we watch, the TV shoes, the books, the news... there are so many things out there screaming death and destruction. It is easy sometimes to believe that when u are alone at night something awful could seriously happen to u.
But tonight I was really hit with this song. Please watch it. It's real. I really, really like real. There are too many phony things out there. Too many things and people that are trying to look their best for everyone else. I'm very guilty of this at times too.
Tonight I learned somethings even if it wasn't the first time: I want to be real for everyone. I want to be a friend. I want to be unafraid of what man can do to me. I want to be all that God wants me to be. Still learning, still striving.
Here's the links:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0luHiWwi08&feature=related

Eli

2010-06-14T15:16:00.000-07:00

Customize your own digital slideshow

God's holding me

2010-06-09T09:40:00.001-07:00

Eli's 6 and half weeks old. He's growing up in every single way. His little legs are starting to take on some serious chunk, his length is starting to keep him from wearing some of his smaller onesies, and he is starting to really enjoying playing with me during the day. I sing to him, read to him, rock him, bounce him, carry him around, take him on walks, and more.

However, each evening he has a hard time. I think that the little guy is experiencing so many new things all the time, that he has to have himself a little cry when the day is done. Joe and I work hard at soothing him, and most of the time we are successful.

It's hard work. We change tactics all the time until we land upon something that pleases him that evening. We are definitely problem solvers with this little guy.

Last night as I was rocking and hugging little Eli, and he continued to kick his feet, squirm his little body, and make fussy noises. I asked Joe why Eli looked so stressed. I said that Eli has everything he needs. We make sure he is well-fed, has clean clothes, a clean diaper, plenty of things to look at, and warm arms to hold him. He really doesn't have anything to be stressed about.

Joe turned to me and said that what I'd just said was a perfect illustration for why we shouldn't be worried and stressed either. God is our heavenly Father, and he makes sure, as the Scriptures say, that we have our needs met. He holds us and feeds us and loves us in the same way that we hold, love, and feed Eli.

It was a wonderful reminder. God is our Father, and He loves us, hard to imagine, infinitely more than I could ever love my precious, little son. WOW!!

^{Matthew 6: 25}"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life^{b]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[b]}?

²⁸"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

2010-05-27T16:51:00.000-07:00

I think worrying comes natural to a new parent. It has definitely been a daily struggle for me not to worry, and a challenging spiritual exercise to continually throw my worries about my precious, new little man at God's feet. He's so dependent on me. He cannot eat, change himself, raise his head, travel anywhere without my help. It's hard not to worry about doing the right thing. There are so many decisions. Every day is a new adventure, and I adamantly want to do the right thing. But I don't want to be a worrier. Studying the Scriptures I don't think it's ever what God wants for us so how not to worry.

Daily, no that's not right, hourly surrender.

It has been and continues to be my favorite word. Surrender. So incredibly vital to a healthy walk with Jesus. And so vitally important as I venture forward, boldly, in my first year as a mom.

Lord, help me. ;-)

Eli and sleep

2010-05-19T14:52:00.000-07:00

Life with a newborn is never dull. I think it's because that regardless of the fact that my life consists of an endless cycle of feeding, changing, playing with, and trying to help Eli fall asleep, my mind is constantly working, constantly pondering what is it I could do to help Eli be the best he can be, namely in the area of sleep.

Eli has a hard time going to sleep. He revels in the warm comfort of a heartbeat and has a very difficult time falling to sleep if his ear isn't nestled against mine. ;-) I love my cuddlebug, but this does make certain activities in life very challenging: making dinner, cleaning, going anywhere, taking a shower, moving at all. Therefore, my mind is constantly working on ways throughout the day and things that I can do to help the little guy sleep so that his times of being awake are filled with happy grins and not discontented cries.

I love my little guy so much and have been told by my mom on several occasions that I had a hard time sleeping and don't that beat all, I still do. ;-) So hopefully Eli's light sleeping and need to be sleeping in someone's arms isn't a long term indicator of his future success as a sleeper, BUT he's also got his father's genes and praise the Lord, Joe is an amazingly gifted sleeper. ;-)

Eli's Here ;-)

2010-05-02T17:24:00.000-07:00

It has been a VERY exciting week at the Gallucci household. On April 24th at 11:57 we welcomed our new baby boy, Eli Rocco Gallucci, into the world.

On Thursday, April 22nd I went to my ob appt. and was sorely disappointed because I was one day past my due date and not very dilated yet. My doctor scheduled me for an induction on May 3rd, which I really didn't want to have to do. Joe and I went on an hour long walk that night.

I didn't have to wait long. On Friday, the very next day at 2 in the morning I started feeling some strong contractions. At least I thought they were strong at the time. ;-) I got out of bed because I couldn't sleep through them and told Joe in the morning. We timed them, called the doctor, and went in at 8 am for a check-up. I was only 1/2 centimeter more dilated than I'd been the day before. Disappointed because I really thought that it was going to be the day, we went home.

However, to Joe and I's surprise the doctor's estimation that it would days before I had the baby were not correct. Throughout the day, the contractions got stronger and stronger though they weren't consistently close together so we stayed home. That night I tried to go to sleep, an extremely unfruitful goal. I took a shower and a bath, which didn't seem to help much, then I woke up Joe. He was very loving, and I had a tough time on the rocker and our yoga ball. When we started timing the contractions at about midnight, they were about 2 minutes in length and 2 and a half minutes apart. We called the doctor, and we headed to the hospital. When we got there, the nurse said I still had a little ways to go until I could be admitted. She told us to walk the halls for an hour and come back. Definitely the worst part of labor so far. The contractions stayed as close together as they had been but they got even stronger with all the walking. It was not fun at all. At that point it was 3 am, and I hadn't slept for 25 hours.

The nurse was amazed at how fast I'd progressed and admitted me. I opted for an epidural because I was so exhausted at that point. I felt immediate pain relief, but they had a hard time placing the needle and the medicine crept up toward my lungs so they could only give me the smallest dose to be safe, which proceeded to completely wear off during my hospital stay but eventually they gave me some more which was wonderful. I was progressing nicely and when I started to deliver Eli, he was born only 15 minutes later.

He was tiny and purple and so beautiful. I held him on my chest and stroked his little fingers. Joe then got to stand with him as they checked all his stats. He was a very healthy little boy.

8 pounds 1 ounce, 20 and a half inches, and 13.98 inch head.

We had a great time bonding with him, and he was a great eater from the very beginning, which was SUCH a blessing. We are filled to the top with blessings and have had a simply amazing time at home with him, learning his three favorite things: being changed, eating, and sleeping. The joys of having a newborn. ;-) Looking forward to every day that I get to spend with our little boy.

Four more Weeks...

2010-03-21T13:36:00.000-07:00

I remember when I used to sit perfectly still so that I could hear Eli's gentle movements, not so anymore. I rub my tummy, he kicks back, he rolls, he elbows, he flips. He is already quite a strong young man.

I think it is amazing how when I wake up on either my right or left side in the middle of the night, he's there on whatever side is closest to the mattress. I can feel his entire body lying on my side. It's crazy to think that he's inside me, just waiting to come out.

He only has 4 more weeks till his due date, and I'm hopeful that he'll decide to be on time. He's already over five and a half pounds and growing quickly.

I'm tired and can't what it was like to sleep on my back or tie my own shoes, or sleep through the night. We find out this Tuesday what position he's in. Even though only 5% of babies are breech, I'm still nervous.

Two more weeks until Spring Break. It has become quite a countdown. I feel like every day at work is a marathon. Especially after 1 every day, all I want to do is curl up on the floor and take a nap. It's hard to push through those last two hours, but I'm very thankful I don't work till 5.

I'm starting to get anxious about labor and delivery. Mostly because there are so many unknowns, so many things that could potentially go wrong. I pray continually for peace and that all three of us would make us through the experience stronger and closer and more alive because of it.

I can't wait to meet baby Eli, but until that day I am taking one day at a time, pushing ahead.

March Madness

2010-03-07T12:15:00.000-08:00

So Joe's title for this month is March Madness. Seems fitting and I hope that it carries out to be more positive than it sounds. ;-) Things have been changing alot lately and a very fervent pace. We moved to Laguna Hills for many reasons and are almost finished settling into a lovely 2 bedroom apartment. We visited good old Biola University, had a wedding shower or two ;-), and are busy working and getting ready for Eli's arrival. Joe says that we must be almost parents because we've been spending our evenings putting together things for our child like a playpen, stroller, crib, and changing table. I don't think our doing so will change for quite a while. I am aware that life is going to change dramatically in about 6 short weeks but even with the evidence very clear on my middle, it is still hard to believe. Hard to believe we will be welcoming a new member into our family, and yet it's very, very exciting. I can't wait for Joe to be a dad. I am confident that he will be a fantastic one. ;-)

Content

2010-02-04T16:13:00.000-08:00

"I have learned the secret of contentment in every situation."

It's odd. With everything going on right now it would seem that knowing me I would be frazzled. It would seem I would be worried or anxious about being 10 weeks away from giving birth, moving next week, leaving a job I love, figuring out how to be my husband's assistant, living 45 minute away from my job, and so much more, but I'm not. For some reason, if I were to describe the last few months, I would use the words "content, at peace, satisfied."

So why is this? How can I go from a situation with less change and less turmoil to one with more and yet feel so much more at peace now? I've been thinking about that lately.

I think it has a lot to do with my mental state. I feel like mentally I have been taking deep breathes. When I start to worry or think about my situation or the problems that might come up, I mentally take a step back and examine it from a variety of lenses. How will this impact me a year from now? How else could I look at this situation? How is this situation being viewed from the lens of the person I'm struggling with right now? Does this really matter?

Oftentimes, I find that the things that cause me so much mental anguish, shouldn't.

Lay your burdens at the cross. Such a darn, difficult thing to accomplish. I've been working on living out this verse for the past 24 years. I hope that maybe, possibly I've taken one small step toward understanding what God wants in regards to worry... don't. ;-)

I heard one time that worry and stress are indicators of our lack of faith in God. That really bothered me at the time because I worried and stressed a lot, but it makes sense to me now. When our mind is free from worry and stress, it is able to dwell on the more important, like making the most of the precious thirty minutes you have to spend with your husband or best friend or new baby. I hope that once I have Eli I will continue in this frame of mind. ;-)

Active Eli

2010-01-15T16:43:00.000-08:00

Eli's becoming quite active. He is kicking and twirling and diving. It is my second favorite thing in the world right now to sit and feel him move. Even when I am alone, I feel like I have company because he's very much alive in there. I wonder what he's thinking and if he's ever trying to get my attention about something. It was fun because at our last ultrasound when the technician would put the wand on top of him he would put up his little hands and push up like he didn't appreciate being squished any more than he already was. ;-) I wonder if he's doing the same thing when I rub my belly. I definitely understand now why pregnant women enjoy rubbing their bellies. It's an amazing thing. I marvel at how anyone who has ever been pregnant can be pro abortion. Once they start moving in there, it is a DAILY reminder of how there is a very much alive human being inside them who very much deserves a chance at life. Pray as I continue to do that everything with Eli's transition into the world would be a smooth one because we already love him very much. ;-)

My Daily Bread

2010-01-08T19:41:00.000-08:00

Sorry to those who read my blog. I promise to get better. I'm sure once I have a newborn baby to tend to I'll have tons more time to write on my blog...right. ;-)

Life has been good. I daily pinch myself to check and make sure that this life I'm currently living is real. I have everything I could need and want and SO much MORE!! ;-) The one sadness of my life is living out in the boonies in a small one bedroom because I didn't want to be isolated and I really wanted Eli to be able to have a room of his own, for all our sake. ;-) But that sadness will be resolved in 5 short weeks. We'll be moving again, we are pretty much making it a science, to Laguna Hills into a beautiful 2 bedroom, 2 bath apartment complete with a yard, plentiful walking/stroller trails, an amazing location to everything including our church ;-) and all the latest convienances, and Eli not only gets his own room but his own bathroom as well. Depending on how long we stay there it will come in handy when he starts potty training. ;-)

Pregnancy is an amazing thing. I live my life and my belly continues to grow, wow! Everything has been progressing normally so far, and at each one of my doctor's appointments there has been no red flags or concerns, which considering my history I am SOOO thankful for. I definitely never dreamed everything would go so well, but don't forget to pray for the growing Gallucci family because people continue to tell me that I am just about to enter the most difficult road, the dreaded third trimester. Da, da, da, da... As I have thus far I am planning on focusing on one day at a time, getting through Monday joyfully and successfully before setting my sights to Tuesday, especially regarding work. I love my job very much, but it is easy to start getting worried about whether or not I'll be able to make it until 3 weeks before the baby's born, which is the plan. We shall see, but just as Jesus taught us to pray, "Give us TODAY our DAILY bread." And another one of my favorites, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Blessings!! ;-)

Merry Christmas 2009

2009-12-24T10:32:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to our friends and family!

It sure has been an eventful, terrific year for the Gallucci family. We started out 2009 with a bang spending the night on the streets of Pasadena to watch the Rosebowl Parade. The first few months were terrific. I was Joe’s secretary with his Cutco business. Check out www.mycutcorep.com/JoeGallucci to view his website. In February, Joe participated in the Lake Perris triathalon and did a great job! In March, we celebrated our second wedding anniversary in Big Bear. Mid May, Joe decided that a career change was in order. He started working for a company called PayJunction, a credit card processing company with a unique way to accept credit cards (in store, website, and/or cell phone). If you want to learn more, take a look at Joe's website It’s really interesting, and there’s even a cool movie to watch. ;-) The summer was lovely, filled with a trip to beautiful Colorado for a vacation with the Hollins and another trip to picturesque Oregon for a Gallucci family wedding. I spent the better part of 2008-2009 writing my first Young Adult novel. It was finished in August and debuted on www.amazon.com. It’s called My Darkness, it’s about spiritual warfare, and it’s a great read. Search “My Darkness Hayley” on Amazon to buy your copy! ;-) I started a brand new job at the end of August at Stoneybrooke Elementary School. I’m an assistant teacher working with a junior kindergarten class and the school’s math lab and science lab. I love it! Not long after starting school, our family received terrific news. We were going to have a baby! Hayley is currently five months pregnant with our first child, a boy we decided to name Eli Rocco Gallucci. Baby Eli and I have both been doing great so far. In November we still had not had enough adventure so we decided to rent out our condo in Mission Viejo and move to a small cabin in the Cleveland National Forest. After the move, Thanksgiving was spent with family and a relaxing trip to Tahoe with the Hollins.

We are earnestly awaiting a very special and memorable 2010 with even more exciting adjustments and changes as we welcome Eli on or around April 21^st ;-).

Many blessings to you and your family!! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!! ;-)

Love,

Joe, Hayley, and baby Eli

This blessed me. Merry Christmas!! ;-)

2009-12-12T09:25:00.000-08:00

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her
toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got
arthritis too. That's love.'
Rebecca- age 8

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
Billy - age 4

'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and
they go out and smell each other.'
Karl - age 5

'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries
without making them give you any of theirs.'
Chrissy - age 6

'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'
Terri - age 4

'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before
giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'
Danny - age 7

'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you
still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss'
Emily - age 8

'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening
presents and listen.'
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you
hate,'
Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

'Love is when you tell a boy you like his shirt, then he wears it
everyday.'
Noelle - age 7

'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still
friends even after they know each other so well.'
Tommy - age 6

'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at
all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.
He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'
Cindy - age 8

'My mommy loves me more than anybody
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'
Clare - age 6

'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'
Elaine-age 5

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is
handsomer than Robert Redford.'
Chris - age 7

'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone
all day.'
Mary Ann - age 4

'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old
clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'
Lauren - age 4

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars
come out of you.' (what an image)
Karen - age 7

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's
gross.'
Mark - age 6

'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you
mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'
Jessica - age 8

And the final one

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an
elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's
yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy
said,

'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

Updates

2009-12-06T12:44:00.000-08:00

Sorry, again, for not writing recently. I've lost my computer connection in the lab after school and until a few days ago we were a one computer household, which mean that Joe was on the computer for work or we were spending time together. Enough excuses... I'm back and because Joe recently purchased a netbook for his business we are now a 2 computer household. Got to love technology.

Life has been really good lately. We had a more than splendid Thanksgiving break. We headed straight to Lake Tahoe with my hubby, fam, and sister's boyfriend. We had an amazing time in a breathtakingly fabulous snow resort. It had snowed the day before we arrived so our world was white. We were surprised continually how cold it really was outside and were thankful for all the layers we had brought with us. I had a blast on the trip. We ate really well, watched Blindside, Roo, Joe and David went snowboarding, shopped, relaxed, watched movies, had snowball fights, played the legendary Twilight game ;-), and so much more. I definitely didn't want to go home. It was amazingly beautiful and refreshing and wonderful to get away from work and the day to day for awhile.

The good news is that we got back late Wednesday night, and the next day was Thanksgiving. We had a very chill day and then spent Thanksgiving evening with all our family: my family, Joe's family, David's family, and more. ;-) It was a great time.

The day after Thanksgiving we did brave the stores in Lake Elsinore for a little shopping. We got a laptop, a few pregnancy outfit essentials, and a few other things.

Saturday was spent registering for baby Eli, so much fun but we were wiped when it was all over. We also had dinner with Joe's fam, gma, uncle, and great aunt. Yummy food, again. ;-) On Sunday we did errands and took care of business.

So life is good. The pregnancy has been terrific so far, for which I am soooo thankful. No major issues. I've been feeling great! Definitely enjoying the blessed 2nd trimester. ;-)

Taking deep breaths

2009-11-17T21:58:00.000-08:00

Have you ever experienced those moments where you can't help but take a deep breath... not because you're stressed, not because you're worried, but because you want to remember. Want to remember the place you are and the feelings that surround you...forever.

I've been blessed to have countless deep breath moments this past year, this past month, this past week. God has richly blessed me, and I feel like there's nothing I can do but praise him.

I praise God for my loving, supportive, encouraging husband.

I praise him for a healthy, strong baby boy growing at a steady rate inside of me.

I praise the Lord for our new home in a place where I have daily reminders of his beautiful creation.

I bless the Lord for providing for us every day that we've been married and on our own. I marvel at his care for our every need.

I thank him for loving friends and family.

I praise him for blessing both my husband and I with wonderful jobs, jobs that we both enjoy.

There is so many things that could go wrong, every day. If you're not careful it is easy for worry and anxiety and despair to overrun your life. I have been focusing this year on taking deep breaths, savoring my life, and learning to push worry aside, continuing to learn to daily cast my fears on God's shoulders because only he is big enough to hold them all.

Praise the Lord!

Our Demon Cat

2009-11-13T12:57:00.000-08:00

Our little kitty has been angry lately, very angry, and the biggest bummer about the situation is that his wrath is keeping us from sleep. We are almost all the way settled into our new abode and things are going quite well, that is except our poor kitty Fabio. For some reason every evening when we turn off the lights and slip into bed Fabio wants to come to. We push him outside and before long we hear the all familiar scratch and bang and meow at our door. The first 4 nights we didn't have a lock on our door and ingenious Fabio was able to slide our door open with his noisy, hardworking claws. He would leap into bed with us. For those with well-behaved dogs who sleep at the bottom of their beds this might not seem like a big deal, but for us this is not a positive situation. Fabio's favorite place is lying on our faces or chests or scratching our ears or arms. In other words he is a constant bundle of movement and energy, and it is almost impossible to sleep with him around. So we through him out, and he proceeds to try again. Not long ago, we purchased a lock for the door. We naively thought our problems were solved. Not so fast. Instead of being able to finish his cycle of scratching and leaping, the cycle is simply cut short. He sits at our door and proceeds to cause a gigantic ruckus until we let him in. I even gave him my cozy robe which he likes to lay in as a kitty bed, but to no avail, that kitty wanted to be with us. Needless to say, we are excited for the weekend, hoping we can get some sleep. I feel like I'm getting a teeny tiny peep about what life might be like in the middle of the night with our baby. ;-)

Moving Day

2009-11-05T14:57:00.000-08:00

Good Afternoon... ;-)
It is currently 2:57, and I am already exhausted. Not trying to think of the gigantic day looming before us. At 1 PM today Joe picked up our U-haul and began loading it with all the things from our condo we had packed from the night before. I am hoping that everything will fit in our new place, but it doesn't look very promising. ;-) We will load up the truck and bring it down to our new cabin where we will begin unloading. Because I'm pregnant I don't have to do any lifting ;-) so depending on how fast the loading goes I may just be a cheerleader for awhile. ;-)
I turned 16 weeks yesterday and the pregnancy email said the baby will double in size in the next few weeks...woo hoo. I wonder how many more clothes I can grow out of by that time. ;-) If any one has some cute clothes that would fit a rounder Hayley pass them my way. I can't stand shopping. ;-(

Our moving adventure

2009-11-04T14:58:00.000-08:00

I don't know why writing in my blog has bec0me so difficult. Maybe it's because a steady routine exists in my days now. I spend 7 hours working hard with lovely children, get home, get the mail, answer email, make dinner, eat dinner, and then spend the evening with my lovely husband and/or other friends and family.
I know that ample time allows for artistic expression, and I feel that since my time is more divided now and when it's not I'm too tired to type a word, it's harder to write.

The good news is that lately I've discovered a time to write! I have 5-10 minutes every day after my day at work where I don't want to leave school because of the horrendous traffic and for the most part I have finished everything I had to do during the day.
The perfect writing opportunity...

Anyway, things have been happening very quickly this week for my husband and I. We have had our condo up for rent for the last 3 months, and we finally got a bite!! We found out Sunday evening that someone wanted to rent out our condo and wanted to move in that Saturday so we are rapidly trying to complete all the arrangements necessary to find a home and transport our lives there. So far, we have continued to work full time during the day and continued to sleep. Hopefully, that will continue. ;-)
We will be moving out to the Cleveland National Forest, renting a one bedroom cabin with a large porch. There are trees on every side, a creek behind the cabin, and an extensive network of hiking trails. I hope it will be the perfect spot to raise our precious baby, at least for the first few months of his/her life. The only bummer is that we desired a two bedroom since it was almost the same price, but because of the short notice, we weren't so lucky. We are the first on the waiting list however so cross your fingers that we will be able to move into a bigger place before the baby comes. ;-)
Well my lovely time of writing has come to an end. I need to jet home and pack up everything we own into little brown boxes to be loaded on a moving truck tomorrow afternoon. Wish us luck. ;-)

Journal on my Pregnancy Journey so Far ;-)

2009-10-24T20:20:00.001-07:00

The last few weeks of August I noticed being very tired. I would get an uncontrollable urge to take a nap or engage in a relaxing activity throughout the day. This was odd since none of my activities had changed.

August 31^st: I started working at Stoneybrooke. The exhaustion continued, but it made more sense now. I found that when I came home from work I was not at all motivated to do things that involved mental exertion. My brain was very tired. I also found that I was waking up several times in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Upon awakening I would find that I was starving and would have a snack usually about 3 AM. I was craving yogurt. When I woke up in the morning my stomach would hurt a lot. It felt like I had a lot of excess acid in my system. I would try to eat, which would cause more pain. Once I was able to get food into my system, I did better.

I decided Thursday evening when Joe left for an appointment that I was going to do a pregnancy test, feeling that it would help me stop worrying about the symptoms I was having. I did the test and immediately 2 lines appeared. I rushed into the kitchen to set the timer since I was supposed to read the test after three minutes. I couldn’t stay away. I crept back into the bathroom and looked at the strip two lines, which for this test meant pregnant. I couldn’t believe it.

Instead of contriving a romantic, exciting way to tell my husband I called him that minute. I couldn’t stand waiting for an hour and a half for him to get home. He sounded overwhelmed and supportive.

That night we looked up baby names and decided on Bella Eve if it is a girl, “beautiful life.” The next day I bought some ginger to help my aching belly and rented two pregnancy books from the library.

September 15^th

This weekend we went down to my parents so that we could see them. We ended up going through all my old stuffed animals and watching some old family videos. All I kept thinking about was our kids, and how much they are going to love our stuffed animals. ;-) When we were driving home Joe said he was so excited to be a dad. It did my heart good. He said that I was a cute kid and he can’t wait to have cute kids of his own to spend time with and explore life with. ;-) What a blessing he is. I am starting to feel like people might be able to tell that my tummy is big. That makes me nervous, and I hope it’s not the case.

9/28 I was working with a little boy named Ethan in our class. He is usually kind of out of it and enjoys staring into space. On this particular occasion he leaned closer to me, rested his hand on my belly, looked me in the eyes, and said “There’s a baby in there.” He’s quite the prophet. ;-)

10/1 That same little boy thought it would be a good idea to throw up during snack and then twice during lunch the next day. I was very close to losing my food as well all three times. Oops! I blame it on the pregnancy.

10/8: We went to my first ob/gyn appt today. It was incredible to see the ultrasound. You could see the baby moving around. He was turning and swimming. We saw his arms, legs, umbilical cord, body, and really big head. The doctor said he or she was beautiful. She also commented that there was only one, which we were happy about, especially because we hadn’t considered there being more than one. ;-) She did a lot of other exams on me and I filled out paperwork, and then we left. The next day I got blood work.

10/9: We told Joe’s parents tonight. They had already invited us over to dinner so we decided to tell them that evening. They were thrilled and kept smiling and looking at us. It was a happy night! ;-)

10/11

We drove down to my parents house even though it was incredibly difficult to convince them that we needed to be down there since they were sick and busy. ;-) They were so excited and since Joe had to tell them we had a surprise so they’d let us come down, they had already guessed. My sister had bought me a bib. ;-)

10/22

We had another doctor’s appt to go over my blood work. They said that all the blood work was normal and that everything. We got to hear the baby’s heartbeat, and it was strong and lovely! ;-) We scheduled our appt in 1 month to find out the baby’s gender!!!!

I fear man

2009-09-15T18:34:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I haven't written in awhile. I have been getting used to the rhythm of work and like I expected going to work all day has a tendency to dry me of my creative energy. All I have felt like blogging the last few weeks is: went to work, made dinner, spent time with my husband, did some chores, went to bed. Not exactly inspirational.

Something I've been hit with the last few weeks though is how challenging it is to write a book and have people you care about read it. I feel like I'm lying on an examining table and whatever someone has to say about the book, they are saying about me. I spent so long on the book, poring over the words, chapters, and characters. It is so hard for for something like that not to become part of you. When someone says something positive or negative about my writing, I find myself viewing myself in a positive or negative light. I think it is similar to if you practiced for years to be good at a sport and you were in a game and you gave it your all and then all your best friends came up to you after the game and let you know the things they did and didn't like about our performance. Just seeing them walk up to you would make you nervous because you know you're not perfect and that people see things through their own eyes, affected by their pasts, their present relationships, their culture, and more. I don't know if I'll make it as a writer. I take myself too seriously. I want too much to be liked, to have people look at what I have to offer as worthwhile. I haven't grown calloused yet to people's opinions about what I have to say, and I crave positive affirmation. Not to mention that it takes at least 20 positive comments for me to forget about 1 negative comment. I am trying to forgive myself, but it's a struggle everyday. I feel like I should be above messing up by now, I've had 24 full years of practice, haven't I?

I think the verse of the week plays in really well with my fears of others' thoughts about me:

"Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe." Prov. 29:25

AMEN... May God do what he will with the things I have done and will do. My life is not my own.

Verse of the Week

2009-09-07T10:01:00.000-07:00

Psalm 46:

"God is our refuge and strength, an Ever-present help in trouble."

Thoughts on Forgiveness from the Good Book

2009-09-04T17:48:00.000-07:00

Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

"Why does this fellow talk like that? He's blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?"

The Pharisees and the teachers of the law began thinking to themselves, "Who is this fellow who speaks blasphemy? Who can forgive sins but God alone?"

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

God exalted him to his own right hand as Prince and Savior that he might give repentance and forgiveness of sins to Israel.

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace.

PRAISE THE LORD!

My New Job

2009-08-27T17:24:00.000-07:00

I've had an awesome time this week getting ready for school this week at my new job, Stoneybrooke Christian school.

For those of you who may be curious ;-) I am an assistant teacher. I will be assistant an awesome Kindergarten teacher in the mornings, doing 4 math labs for 4th and 5th grade students who need a challenge in math, and am in charge of the science lab for K-6th grade.
That's it in a nutshell. Everyone at the school keeps calling me gumby because I am going to need to be very flexible, but I think it sounds like an awesome job and am super excited. ;-)

So it's back to the daily grind, and I am super excited. Daily interactions with a bunch of sweet teachers and kids sounds like welcome relief at the moment.

Seven Pounds

2009-08-25T08:13:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt you've been given something you didn't deserve. I know I have...life.

Last night I watched the movie Seven Pounds. It really hit me. I had heart surgery when I was seven. After it happened, I believed God had spared me from death. For years after I sought to make every day count. It became my mantra. Carpe Diem- Seize the Day! Do your very best! Give your all! Blessed to be a blessing! It's hard to keep up that point of view for sixteen years. Watching that movie last night brought me back. I cried like a baby.

God has granted me a gift, my life, and I desire it to be a sacrifice. In ways I'm like the main character who is so guilt driven, and sometimes it's exhausting. But then again sacrifice is difficult, life wasn't meant to be taken lightly or lived solely for pleasure. We are designed to make a difference, to love God and to love others, to give our lives for something worthy of the great sacrifice that was given so that we could live in every sense of the word. I am so thankful that unlike the main character in that movie I have someone bigger than myself to lean on. Considering this, I still don't know what I would do if I was in his shoes. If I believed I had caused the death of 7 people, one being the person closest to my heart, I believe I too would feel forced to atone myself. Even though I know there's forgiveness through Christ, it would be so difficult to forgive myself. I know in things far less significant I have had a difficult time letting go. I am often the one with the biggest judge's mallet to my head, reminding myself of my guilt.

Can you think of things you've been given that you don't deserve? Do you ever take them for granted? Are there any areas in your life where you need to grant yourself forgiveness?

Thinking outside the brown bag

2009-08-21T08:31:00.000-07:00

I am super excited about returning to work, but what thing I am not looking forward to is packing a lunch. I never feel in the mood to pack a lunch and then once its time to eat, the things I brought don't look appetizing. So I wanted to get some creative. Here is a list of some creative options that I am going to be trying this year. ;-)

Main Course:

Salad with chicken

Salad with hard boiled egg

Salad with soy beans

Salad with turkey

Turkey sandwich

Turkey and cheese rolled up

PB&J sandwich

Cold pizza

Pita pocket with chicken and veggies

Veggie cream cheese and cucumber sandwich

Almond butter with almonds and cranberries sandwich

Hummus and chopped pepper sandwich

Apple butter with apple slices sandwich

Whipped cream cheese with blueberries sandwich

Blueberry cream cheese and strawberry slices sandwich

Jam and cream cheese sandwich

Veggie soup

Pita bread, cucumber, lettuce, olives, tomato, and hummus sandwich

Chicken, cucumber, vinegar, lemon, basil, olive oil sandwich

Fruit:

Plum

Apple

Orange

Kiwi

Blueberries

Pineapples chunks

Melon slices

Grapes

Snacks:

Cheese crackers

Corn muffin

Hard boiled egg

String cheese

Whole wheat crackers

Cheddar cheese

Chips and salsa

Popcorn

Yogurt with fruit

Trail mix

Veggies:

Pepper slices

Snap peas

Cherry tomatoes

Veggies with hummus

Mini carrots

Soybeans

Veggies and dip

Dessert:

Fig newtons

Banana bread

Pudding

Oatmeal cookies

Animal crackers

Clip from chapter 34: Letting Go

2009-08-19T17:16:00.000-07:00

I opened my eyes, afraid, yet expectant. The walls were white, the sheets were white, and the bandages concealing my left arm were white. A steady beeping pulsed behind me.

My right arm hurt worse than my left, and I studied it, twisting it back and forth to examine the small needle taped to my wrist. I twisted to look behind me and watched the steady dripping of the liquid in the clear plastic bag attached to my arm. A large monitor beside the bag recorded my heartbeat.

I heard a rustle on my sheets, and I turned forward, noticing the ruffled, blond head lying on my bed. I watched as Mark slowly lifted his head and stared into my eyes. The intensity of his gaze spoke volumes.

Still silent, he drew his hand toward me and carefully picked up the hand partially concealed by a cast. He squeezed my fingers, brought his face closer, and kissed my fingers with his warm lips.

I became aware of the throbbing of my heart within my chest as the monitor behind me started beeping. Mark opened his mouth and a slow smile spread across his face. My stomach did a flip-flop before it rested again.

“Should I leave, Sadie, so you can get some rest?” Mark chuckled.

I shook my head adamantly from side-to-side.

He brought his head near my fingers and gave them another kiss, this time holding the position for several seconds. Our eyes locked.

Verse of the Week

2009-08-17T15:06:00.001-07:00

I Peter 3:12-14

"For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil. Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened."

You are in a marathon...

2009-08-17T13:42:00.000-07:00

I went to the Harvest Crusade Saturday night, and I was hit, as I often am at such incredible events, how much Greg Laurie has been able to accomplish in his lifetime. I desperately want to make a difference and looking around at the thousands of people crowding every seat of the Angels stadium made me yearn to accomplish significant things. I began comparing myself with him and others like him, and I began to get sad, realizing that compared to him, I have done so few things during my lifetime.

Like a flash of inspiration a thought burst into my mind that I believe was put there specifically by God. God told me to be faithful, today! Life is a marathon, not a sprint. I need to focus on today, being obedient, hard working, loving, and patient one day at a time, and my lifetime goals will follow.

A speaker who came to Biola said something I won't forget that we should focus on finishing well. It's great to be fired up and passionate for God the first year you're a Christian, but how much more significant to continue to be fired up and passionate year after year after year, until the Lord takes you home.

Thought to leave you with: Many people overestimate what they can do in a year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.

Set goals, live for eternal treasures, and be faithful, today! ;-)

Excerpt from Chapter 6- Hide & Seek

2009-08-14T09:59:00.000-07:00

I curled into a ball on the cold cement and shut my eyes to block out what I imagined was there. The cold sprang from the floor into my skin so I sat up. I began humming to myself but soon forgot the tune.

I struggled to focus my mind on pleasant things. The first thing pushing through the floodgates of my mind was Mark. I focused on each part of him, sweeping my mind’s eye over his easy smile, his wavy, blond hair, and his soft, freckled skin.

A sound broke my thoughts. My breathing and heart rate started to race. I felt the tingling pricks of fear spreading through my arms and legs. I opened my eyes to peek and big, glaring, blood red eyes stared back at me. I backed up, and my head hit the door. There was nowhere to go.

I squeezed my eyes shut, my voice breaking in an effort not to cry. “It’s just my imagination. I’m alone. I’m just afraid. Nothing’s going to happen.”

The deep, gurgling laugh came from three places at once. I gasped, my body filling with the adrenaline it was so used to.

I opened my eyes to see three more dark creatures creeping menacingly toward me, their white eyes breaking through the thick darkness. They swayed back and forth as they studied me. Then, they leapt upon me and in me. I couldn’t even scream.

I felt my body wrack and shake, and they hurled me into the door. My shoulder smashed into the cold wood, and I drooped to the ground. Relentless, they raised me to my knees and then let me fall.

Their voices breathed into my consciousness with rabid intensity. “You’re nothing. You’re worthless. Give up. Give in. We’re stronger than you. We can beat you. We will beat you. You can’t hide.”

They peeled me from the floor and threw me into the door. I fell to the floor, and my body quivered as I struggled to regain control. With great effort, I raised myself to all fours and tried to focus, breathing heavily.

I thought of anything and everything, the scenes and people flashing through my mind like a slide show: my homes, Julie, Mark, Paige, the outside of the school, Drake glaring at me from the dinner table. I opened my eyes and saw more creatures, their dark bodies crowding toward me.

“Somebody help me. Please,” I whispered with the only strength my conscious mind had left. My soul ached with despair as they continued to shake my fragile body and pound it into the concrete floor.

I heard rustling outside the door. A cracking sound pulsed through the silence, and then faint moonbeams filled the floor of the closet where I’d been stashed. Abruptly, the creatures fled into the crevices of the closet, hiding behind paint cans and lawnmowers. I watched their beady eyes glowering back at me. I stared in the direction of the door as it creaked open, too tired to lift myself from the floor.

“Sadie!” Mark yelled, his voice tinged with panic.

I sank lower and stared at him. It was over.

“Who did this to you?” He kneeled on the floor next to me and rested one hand on my back, avoiding my eyes.

“The Vipers,” I whispered, fighting to regain mental clarity.

“Why?”

“They gave me an ultimatum. I have to leave. They’ve given me a month. I guess having a little sister is not exactly a dream come true.”

My Darkness

2009-08-13T10:01:00.000-07:00

SYNOPSIS*

My Darkness is a novel about sixteen-year-old Sadie who has the ability to see another world. Tormented by a depressive demon of darkness and a manic foster brother, Sadie’s life is a string of rejections and close calls until she meets Mark, her mysterious admirer. Her life begins to turn around, but she faces violent opposition at every turn, including a threat from her brother to leave home immediately or else. With the attacks intensifying, will Sadie survive long enough to embrace the truth, uncover the mysteries surrounding her foster brother and Mark, and escape from the Darkness that surrounds her?

CLIP*

“This is a war, Sadie. The opposing side doesn’t lose lightly. They’re going to put up a fight, every step of the way. They don’t want you to read that book. There are answers in there that they’re terrified of your discovering. They don’t want to lose their grasp on you. I’m going to try my best to help you, but they’re stronger than you, for now.”

I heard a click as he ended the call. I stared into the phone and whispered, “Mark, who are they? Why do they want me?” I closed my eyes to stop the tears from coming.

All at once, the intense pain in my thigh subsided. I stared down at my Darkness, stunned into frozen silence as I watched a huge gash appear on his shoulder. He turned and hissed and pulled out his claws the rest of the way from my leg. He brought his spindly fingers to his shoulders and covered his wounds. He gazed around the room for the attacker. I followed and found him standing by the door, thick, golden sword in his hand. He was posed in the position I’d come to recognize: palms up, eyes serene, head tilted back. The Guardian of The Book. He’s in my room, guarding my reading of the book.

“For as long as I remember I've been hurting; I’ve taken the worst you can hand out, and I've had it. Your wildfire anger has blazed through my life; I'm bleeding, black-and-blue. You've attacked me fiercely from every side, raining down blows till I'm nearly dead. You made lover and neighbor alike dump me; the only friend I have left is Darkness.”

Feeling Low?

2009-08-13T09:38:00.000-07:00

DESPAIR

"As I sink in despair, my spirit ebbing away,

you know how I'm feeling,

know the danger I'm in,

the traps hidden in my path.

Look right, look left—

there's not a soul who cares what happens!

I'm up against it, with no exit—left alone.

I cry out, God,

'You're my last chance, my only hope for life!'

Oh listen, please listen;

I've never been this low.

Rescue me from those who are hunting me down;

I'm no match for them.

Get me out of this dungeon so I can thank you…”

HOPE

God, my shepherd! I don't need a thing.
You have bedded me down in lush meadows,
you find me quiet pools to drink from.
True to your word,
you let me catch my breath
and send me in the right direction.

Even when the way goes through
Death Valley,
I'm not afraid
when you walk at my side.
Your trusty shepherd's crook
makes me feel secure.

You serve me a six-course dinner
right in front of my enemies.
You revive my drooping head;
my cup brims with blessing.

Your beauty and love chase after me
every day of my life.
I'm back home in the house of God
for the rest of my life.

WHAT A DIFFERENCE LOVE MAKES! ;-)

To the Bottom of the Ocean

2009-08-12T09:24:00.000-07:00

This weekend Greg Laurie spoke at church. He showed the new companion video to his book called Lost Boy. It is the story of Greg Laurie's life, and it is a powerful one! He was saved from a destructive lifestyle and a very broken home.

He shared that God cleans his fish after he catches them. So many people assume that they are too dirty to come before God. They fear there are things in their life that would displease God, and they must find a way to get rid of them in their own strength. God calls us to come to him. Wounds, pains, mess-ups, bad habits, and all. AS WE ARE! God is the healer. God is the transformer of lives. Let him change you!!

When we ask God to come into our lives, God throws our sins present, past, and future to the bottom of the ocean, and then he posts a "No Fishing" sign. God is not the one bringing back our hold sins and holding them in our faces. We are. God has forgiven us. Ask for the strength to forgive yourself. God bless you!

Are you a character?

2009-08-10T13:15:00.001-07:00

This was my favorite character from the movie- Snake Eyes. ;-)

I love the feeling when you step outside of a movie theater. Nothing has changed, really, during the two hours that you spent inside the theater, but to you, who has been on an unforgettable ride, everything has changed. At such times, I constantly question which things I'm looking at are real and which ones aren't. We watched G. I. Joe this weekend and after we stepped outside of the theater, I felt like I was a special agent. I believed that enemies were hiding everywhere, behind the pillars, under the counters, in the cars in the parking structure. I was suspicious of everyone and more excited to be alive simply because I had just experienced something so exciting. It is easy to take the things that we see on a daily basis for granted. I think after I see a movie, I feel like my life is a movie, and that makes it infinitely more interesting. I want to please my fans and be exciting enough. I want to make them feel they made a good purchase coming to my movie. So how is your movie looking these days? Is your life something that someone else would want to watch? Is your excitement for life contagious? I know mine is AFTER I watch a movie. If only I could hold on to that kind of life. ;-)

You are loved!

2009-08-06T09:12:00.000-07:00

Good to be Loved!

So I went to a woman's event put on by Saddleback church last night. It was really fun, and I'm glad I went. The leader was going to speak in church in 2 weeks so she asked the group of about 20 different women from all different stages of life what are the main struggles that women face so she could address them.

One of the things we kept coming back to was having a problem with our identity. It is so easy to comprise our identity from the things we do, from our work, from being married, from having children, from the things we have or don't have, from the things we've done or haven't done. Constantly striving to prove ourselves in other's eyes. Constantly comparing ourselves to our neighbors, friends, coworkers, and family. What do I have that they don't have? And if I don't have what she has, how can I?

I was reminded as I have been countless times that we should now and always comprise our identity first and foremost from Christ. We are God's child! He loves us if we're married, fat, have five children, have no children, aren't married, have long hair, have red hair, have nice clothes, have a beautiful house. He loves us irregardless of the things we do. He loves us because he created us, and I believe he desires for us to be able to look at ourselves and see the worth God has assigned to us because of whose we are. God has stamped his image on us and that means we are loved and taken care of.

I need to learn to stop comparing, stop striving, stop criticizing, stop being too hard on myself, stop and know that God is who he says he is and that I am loved because I am his.

A great reminder from Romans: "I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us."

The Stakes are High

2009-08-04T08:50:00.000-07:00

I have had the opportunity to help a couple that is 86 and 88 years old this week. Their daughter usually cares for them but went on vacation. I do small chores for them, make them meals, and listen.

It is always inspiring to listen to people who have truly left a legacy. Their three children are happily married, and their children's children are married and have children. It is so fun to sit and listen to them talk about their family.

It is truly a beautiful thing to see how God designed the family. I shake my head at the people who believe that we can change what a family looks like, God's design for a family, and then completely ignore the problems that result. Divorce, single parent households, same sex parent households... all these things are extremely difficult and sometimes completely disastrous for those involved, especially the children. If you aren't convinced, I think the first step is to take time talking with the children who live in one of these households. If they're honest, I assure you that the majority are not perfectly okay with the arrangement. A part of them bleeds in their desire for a "normal" family. Sadly, it's becoming more and more difficult to find these families.

It's curious to speak with my new friends, born in the 1920's who don't understand twitter, facebook, or the rampant destruction of the family that is occurring in the world today.

I listened to a tape by Dr. Dobson recently, and he claimed that our society was morally disintegrating, and the number one reason he believed, hands down, was the decay of the family. He had a ton of statistics to back up his claim, and it was very interesting.

I looked up marriage in biblegateway, and this is the first verse I found.

Malachi 2:16, "I hate divorce," says the God of Israel. God-of-the-Angel-Armies says, "I hate the violent dismembering of the 'one flesh' of marriage." So watch yourselves. Don't let your guard down. Don't cheat."

I don't think God thinks our current family problems are funny. Be careful. Don't rush into marriage. The stakes are high.

Moving....Again

2009-07-31T01:27:00.000-07:00

Guess which one I am...Just kidding ;-)

Good morning. ;-) I can't sleep so I figured I would write. Life has been okay lately. We decided after much goings back and forth that it would be best for us to move from our spacious three bedroom condo and rent it out to a family and move to an apartment. I'm not opposed to leaving to save money and such. It's the moving that I'm not in love with. ;-( There are quite a lot of things to do, and I'm nervous because since we own the house, it has to be shown whenever people are interested which means that coming Monday it needs to be in a state of perpetual cleanliness so that anyone could come by. That is not as easy as it may sound for me. ;-) We made a lot of progress with sorting and boxing and such today, which is lovely.

It's sad though because I desperately want to be someone who's a champion of change. I want to be able to go through things and change things in my life without blinking an eye, but it's not that easy for me. It's difficult for me to adjust to change especially things that I'm not looking forward to. I think secretly I think that if I don't fully accept a change, maybe it won't happen. I fear that if I embrace the change with both hands than it will definitely take place. We are going back and forth regarding where we should move to, and I think that's my biggest struggle. I can't get myself to want to move somewhere solely based on its price tag, but I hope that my thriftiness will win out in the end and it will be fine. But moving from a 1200 square foot place to a 400 square foot place is an adjustment for anyone, and I'm sure I'll get over it soon enough. Hopefully, we find renters before I start working full time.

Anywho, we studied why evil exists in small group tonight, and it was very interesting. The key point is that: There is no love without choice. God wanted us to choose to love him, obey him, and follow him instead of being forced into it. Therefore, he had to give us free will. People choose to walk away from God and wa-la evil abounds.

How to Read the Bible

2009-07-28T12:00:00.000-07:00

Reading the Bible is essential to our life as a believer. It is oxygen to our lungs and water to our cells, but that doesn't mean its easy. Making sure to fit Bible reading into a busy life is not always a piece of cake. It requires a lot of hard work and intentional effort, but it is so worth it.

Here are some thoughts about Bible reading from Saddleback church.

Reading the Bible is like going on a road trip.

1. Fill up your tank!

-You can't read the Bible with a closed heart and mind. ;-)

2. Choose your path.

-Just like random wanderings aren't going to help you reach your destination, random reading of verses isn't going to give you adequate depth in your Bible reading.

3. Slow down and enjoy the scenery

-This isn't the Indy 500. Think about what you're reading. ;-)

4. Pull off at a scenic viewpoint.

-If you find an intriguing verse, spend time exploring it. How is your life today going to be different as a result of that verse?

5. Take a picture of yourself.

-The Bible is a useful self examination tool. How are you looking in regards to the things you are reading about?

6. Send postcards.

-A great way to get more out of Bible reading is by journaling/taking notes. ;-)

Sunrise

2009-07-28T11:56:00.000-07:00

Ironically, I wrote this as the sun set. ;-)

Frozen, stiff

Skeleton Feel

Chattering Teeth

Darkness all Around

Can barely move

Speack of Light

Turn my head

Heart trying to beat

Light expands

Reaches up

Stretching into space

Broken Dark

Goodbye stars

Gentle warmth

Hands tingle

Breath a cloud

Rising, higher

Fireball climbs

I try to move my feet

Stand upon them

Walk around

Oh, how I love the daylight!

"Oh, return to me, for I have paid the price to set you free."

2009-07-27T17:53:00.000-07:00

I have been reading through Isaiah and was really hit by these verses so I wanted to share them with you. ;-) Take a few minutes to read them. You may like them as much as me. ;-)

Portions from Isaiah 43 & 44:

But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you.

O Israel, the one who formed you says,

“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.

I have called you by name; you are mine.

^{² When you go through deep waters,}

I will be with you.

When you go through rivers of difficulty,

you will not drown.

When you walk through the fire of oppression,

you will not be burned up;

the flames will not consume you.

^{³ For I am the Lord, your God,}

the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

I gave Egypt as a ransom for your freedom;

I gave Ethiopia and Seba in your place.

^{⁴ Others were given in exchange for you.}

I traded their lives for yours

because you are precious to me.

You are honored, and I love you.

¹⁰ “But you are my witnesses, O Israel!” says the Lord.

“You are my servant.

You have been chosen to know me, believe in me,

and understand that I alone am God.

There is no other God—

there never has been, and there never will be.

^{¹¹ I, yes I, am the Lord,}

and there is no other Savior.

^{¹² First I predicted your rescue,}

then I saved you and proclaimed it to the world.

No foreign god has ever done this.

You are witnesses that I am the only God,”

says the Lord.

^{¹³ “From eternity to eternity I am God.}

No one can snatch anyone out of my hand.

No one can undo what I have done.”

⁶ This is what the Lord says—Israel’s King and Redeemer, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies:

“I am the First and the Last;

there is no other God.

^{⁷ Who is like me?}

Let him step forward and prove to you his power.

Let him do as I have done since ancient times

when I established a people and explained its future.

^{⁸ Do not tremble; do not be afraid.}

Did I not proclaim my purposes for you long ago?

You are my witnesses—is there any other God?

No! There is no other Rock—not one!”

Letting Go of Anxiety

2009-07-26T13:58:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt anxious, worried, stressed? I know I have, and it bothers me that sometimes I can't seem to let go of my stress and move on. So I decided to learn more about this and how to get over it.

One of the techniques I learned was to take deep breathes for about 30 seconds, focusing solely on breathing in and out. Everytime a thought enters your mind, make it leave. Next picture a scene in your mind, while you continue your deep breathing, that makes you very happy. Focus intently how you felt while you were there.

Maybe it was the day your husband asked you to marry him. Maybe it was the day you got your first puppy dog. Maybe it was the day you brought home your first child. Maybe it's a favorite place, the ocean, the mountains, the desert.

Picture the scene and how you felt for at least 30 seconds.

I haven't tried it enough to know if how well it works, but I say it's worth a try. ;-) Why not try it right now? ;-)

Stress is incredibly bad for you. Let it go. I know I'm trying.

Verse of the Week

2009-07-23T11:01:00.000-07:00

“For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” Isaiah 41:13

Committment, Gratitude, Dependence

2009-07-23T10:44:00.000-07:00

So I've been reading a book by Elisabeth Elliot called "Let Me Be a Woman." I look up to her after what she survived. Her husband was Jim Elliot, on the pilots killed trying to ministry to the Indians of Ecuador.

She wrote this book to her daughter as a gift to her right before she got married. On one of the chapters she talked about the kind of commitment necessary for a married couple to stay together, forever.

"There is a whole world of difference between those who look only for their own happiness in this world and those who know that their true happiness lies in the will of God.

"When they encounter trouble they know where to turn, for they know that they are still under the command of God, they are not forsaken. They know that they are insufficient in themselves,. that human love breaks down, and that there is never a point at which they can say, "We've arrived," and are no longer in need of grace.

"You know, I am sure that your love is a gift. and if it is a gift you are grateful to the Giver. To acknowledge your gratitude to Him is also to acknowledge your dependence on Him, to acknowledge above all the authority of Christ. THAT IS A GOOD PLACE TO BEGIN A MARRIAGE."

I understand why so many people who don't believe in God, have no moral foundation, and have nothing to lean on outside of themselves get divorced. Marriage is to big a thing for us to be able to accomplish it effictively completely on our own.
What I don't understand is the huge number of believers who decide to get divorced. This number frightens me, and I want to make sure that I am constantly, always, continually leaning on my Rock so that I can be the partner that He desires me to be. One that is forgiving, selfless, and thankful, each and every day.

Finding Lost Gold

2009-07-22T08:04:00.000-07:00

I recently came back from a week long trip to Oregon. We started the big drive up to Oregon on Tuesday night and arrived in Roseburg at 10:30 AM. After breakfast, the entire household went to sleep. I didn't want to sleep so Joe and I decided to go on an adventure.

We brought a plastic pond bucket and used it to travel down the river. We took turns sitting in the small circular bucket and pulling each other through the cold water. It was tons of fun! There were rapids to go over, fish to see, and refreshing water to wade in. We traveled quite far.

It was my turn to be in the bucket. I was tired of swimming so Joe was taking his turn pulling me down the river. We came to a spot of rapids. Joe had flipped over once so we were more cautious this time. Joe tried to navigate me over and through the rapids without my falling over. He did it! I soared through the rapids right side up.

All of a sudden, Joe started yelling from behind me, "I lost my ring!" I turned around in my raft and yelled back to him, "Are you serious?" No answer. I continued to yell. "What did you say?" He didn't respond. His head was down and he was grabbing into the rapids. Finally, he lifted his head and yelled to me, "Come and help me!" So like an obedient wife I flung myself from the black bucket and began to swim into the rapids, giving up on the bucket after I couldn't pull it out of the water, too heavy. My arms burned after 10 minutes of swimming against the current. I couldn't touch and was beginning to get scared. It didn't seem like I'd moved at all. Joe looked up from his searching and told me to hurry. Out of breath, I yelled, "I am trying! Help!" So like the sweet husband he is, he jumped in the deep water and pulled me to safety.

We then proceeded to search for the wedding ring that Joe had accidentally lost in the surging rapids that had pulled it off his finger. We searched and sifted and tossed out rocks, but the water was white from going too fast and we couldn't see anything. We decided to head back to the house for more supplies. After my bout with the rapids, Joe thought it best to walk back instead of swimming. We started walking through someone's property but were forced to go up to the road due to shrubbery. The ground was hot! I thought the skin of my feet was going to melt off! We yelped and moaned and continued to run across the steaming hot asphalt. After a lot of pain, we made it home, wet and clad only in our bathing suits. Everyone was up by now since it was three and a half hours later so we told them what had happened. We collected buckets and ran to the store for some goggles. We drove back to the spot on the river with Joe's dad and sister. After struggling to the spot where the ring had been lost, we started throwing out the river rocks and looking among the crayfish to where the ring might be. We searched for an hour with no luck when finally Joe shot his hand triumphantly into the air, his ring between his fingers. He grabbed me in his arms, and we cheered. The ring that was lost had been found! ;-) We didn't think it was possible but were so thankful. We even found the black bucket we'd used as a boat. It turned out to be a wonderful day!

Upbeat playlist by Hayley

2009-07-14T12:55:00.001-07:00

Upbeat playlist by Hayley

Shared via AddThis

The Scent of Rain

2009-07-13T13:30:00.000-07:00

I didn't write this, but it was passed on by a member of my writing critique group. A true story about a little preemie. Very good story. Please read it. ;-) Can you describe how the rain smells?

A cold March wind danced around the dead of night in Dallas as the doctor walked into the small hospital room of Diana Blessing. She was still groggy from surgery.

Her husband, David, held her hand as they braced themselves for the latest news. That afternoon of March 10, 1991, complications had forced Diana, only 24-weeks pregnant, to undergo an emergency Cesarean to deliver the couple's new daughter, Dana Lu Blessing.

At 12 inches long and weighing only one pound nine ounces, they already knew she was perilously premature.

Still, the doctor's soft words dropped like bombs. 'I don't think she's going to make it,' he said, as kindly as he could.

'There's only a 10-percent chance she will live through the night, and even then, if by some slim chance she does make it, her future could be a very cruel one'.

Numb with disbelief, David and Diana listened as the doctor described the devastating problems Dana would likely face if she survived.

>She would never walk, she would never talk, she would probably be blind, and she would certainly be prone to other catastrophic conditions from cerebral palsy to complete mental retardation, and on and on.

'No! No!' was all Diana could say. She and David, with their 5-year-old son Dustin, had long dreamed of the day they would have a daughter to become a family of four.

Now, within a matter of hours, that dream was slipping away.

But as those first days passed, a new agony set in for David and Diana. Because Dana's underdeveloped nervous system was essentially 'raw', the lightest kiss or caress only intensified her discomfort, so they couldn't even cradle their tiny baby girl against their chests to offer the strength of their love. All they could do, as Dana struggled alone beneath the ultraviolet light in the tangle of tubes and wires, was to pray that God would stay close to their precious little girl. There was never a moment when Dana suddenly grew stronger.

But as the weeks went by, she did slowly gain an ounce of weight here and an ounce of strength there.

At last, when Dana turned two months old. her parents were able to hold her in their arms for the very first time.

And two months later, though doctors continued to gently but grimly warn that her chances of surviving, much less living any kind of normal life, were next to zero, Dana went home from the hospital, just as her mother had predicted.

Five years later, when Dana was a petite but feisty young girl with glittering gray eyes and an unquenchable zest for life.

She showed no signs whatsoever of any mental or physical impairment. Simply, she was everything a little girl can be and more. But that happy ending is far from the end of her story.

One blistering afternoon in the summer of 1996 near her home in Irving, Texas, Dana was sitting in her mother's lap in the bleachers of a local ball park where her brother Dustin's baseball team was practicing. As always, Dana was chattering nonstop with her mother and several other adults sitting nearby when she suddenly fell silent Hugging her arms across her chest, little Dana asked, 'Do you smell that?'

Smelling the air and detecting the approach of a thunderstorm, Diana replied, 'Yes, it smells like rain.' Dana closed her eyes and again asked, 'Do you smell that?'

Once again, her mother replied, 'Yes, I think we're about to get wet. It smells like rain.' Still caught in the moment, Dana shook her head, patted her thin shoulders with her small hands and loudly announced, 'No, it smells like Him.

It smells like God when you lay your head on His chest.' Tears blurred Diana's eyes as Dana happily hopped down to play with the other children. Before the rains came, her daughter's words confirmed what Diana and all the members of the extended Blessing family had known, at least in their hearts, all along.

During those long days and nights of her first two months of her life, when her nerves were too sensitive for them to touch her, God was holding Dana on His chest and it is His loving scent that she remembers so well.

Fear Not

2009-07-12T08:38:00.000-07:00

I am committed to memorizing a different verse every week. One of the things I struggle with is fear so that will be one of the themes. I will try my best to remember to share each verse with you each week. You can memorize them too if you want. ;-) This week's verse:

Luke 12:32

“Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the Kingdom.”

Hayleys Art

2009-07-08T16:27:00.000-07:00

Hello Friends,

So I couldn't get enough of having a website... So I decided to have another! I have set up a website on etsy, a place where handmade art is made and sold.

I LOVE to paint and take pictures, and I was thinking that if I was able to sell some of my work, then I will be able to paint and photograph even more. And the best part is that at least 11% of each purchase goes directly to help international missions and the more I sell, the higher the percentage can go! ;-) So check it out and buy something for a friend. I would be the happiest girl EVER. ;-)

The site address is www.hayleysart.etsy.com

I will continually be adding more art so check back.

Thanks,

Hayley

Colorado Chronicles pt 4

2009-07-07T08:41:00.000-07:00

Tuesday-

Today was our big rafting day! We woke up very early and drove to a legendary fish hatchery. We were excited to discover that there was a full bucket of food with the top off! We ran over, grabbed handfuls, and started tossing it in! The fish loved it until the keepers came and told us to shooo. ;-(

We headed to the rafting place an hour early and got suited up. Then we got to drive to our drop in point and put our sturdy raft into the rushing river! Our guide, Gabe, had quite a lot of trouble getting my dad to listen to his instructions. ;-) He claimed he couldn't hear and kept doing the opposite of the instructions. We rafted for about an hour and then stopped for a fresh fajita lunch. Yum-yum! After lunch we got to raft for over two hours. There were several very exciting rapids, and we got better at working together. ;-) It was so much fun! We finished about 4 but didn't get home until 6 or so. We ate dinner, packed, and enjoyed our nice home.

Wednesday-

Today was our last day. ;-( So sad because we all loved Colorado! We went on a hike in the morning, then packed up the house, and then went to town for some awesome lunch at a Chinese restaurant. We saw the Budweiser Clydesdales and then started driving. We made it to an old, small town where there was a cool gold mine. The owner gave us a tour, and he reminded us so much of Leonard. ;-) There was a little girl on the tour named Fiona who was so cute and responded to everything the guide told us. She was only 5. After the tour, we went gold panning and fed the tame, adorable chipmunks! We went to dinner at a place in town but left because it was too expensive. We rushed to the airport to make our flight and discovered that it had been delayed 3 hours! We ate dinner and chilled, working on things until our plane left at 12:30. Joe and I didn't make it home until 4 in the morning. What an adventure!

One of our favorite places. ;-)

Colorado Chronicles pt 3

2009-07-07T08:20:00.000-07:00

This was our second pad. It was huge! ;-)

Saturday-

Today was a day of relaxing. We slept in, we walked, we explored the cute ski town, found cool $3 shirts, went out to eat, went on another walk, ate Italian food, went wine tasting, and played games at home. Then we had a legendary pool game, and we were able to beat my parents! We came up from the bottom, turned the game around, and won! ;-)

We found this house that looked more like a castle. It was 3 stories high, built almost entirely of stone, and fitted with old-fashioned, top of the line appliances and decorations. Like the castle in Beauty and the Beast.

Sunday-

Today we went on an exciting, 2 hour speed boat road, whipping around the expansive lake in a neighboring town. Everyone got to drive! ;-) I love going fast.

After that we drove to the famous ski town of Vail. It reminded me of the town of Switzerland and was very clean, bright, and beautiful. It reminded me of something from a storybook, and the houses were massive.

We went to Walmart for some top of the line fishing equipment ;-). After some relaxing we took the breathtaking journey into town through the forest at dusk. I kept thinking a bear was going to leap out of the bushes and get me!!! We explored the town till late and then had the final pool competition. My dad lost when he hit in the last, black ball and it hung back from the edge an inch! Quite exciting!

Monday-

Today was the day for fishing. After climbing through the forest, we found a suitable location. We set out our stuff and then proceeded to set up our lines. My dad proclaimed that he was going to become a fisherman, was going to buy some nice supplies, and go fishing often. So we started fishing. Casting and pulling in, casting and pulling in. We didn't catch more than a few reeds so we packed up and headed to spot #2. We picked it because 2 guys and a little boy had already caught 5 fish and had only been there for 30 min. We were pumped. We matched their lines and waited. While we waited, they proceeded to catch 3 additional fish. They said, "I just can't drop down my line without it falling into a fish's mouth!" That didn't make us feel so good, especially when we discovered that they were using a 12 inch. toddlers fishing pool to do half of their catching. We felt pretty pitiful, and my dad took back what he said about wanting to be a fisherman.

After a big day of fishing, we ate some dollar tacos, went in the jacuzzi, and watched Dance your Ass off and laughed a lot! Once it was dark, we set off 37 stellar fireworks! We made quite a light show, especially the strobe fireworks, woo-hoo. We tried to catch a bear but didn't have any luck. ;-(

The Colorado Chronicles- part 2

2009-07-03T10:45:00.001-07:00

Wednesday continued-

The hunt of the Elk. Driving back we found 2 marmots, a magpie with a snake, and three GIANT elk. Joe, David, and my dad decided it was a great idea to get out and flank the Elk. It was pretty scary watching them creep around the forest trying to move the Elk to the desired location. People came out and cut short their operations. Whew! ;-)

Thursday-

We woke up early and started on a 3 mile hike up to a lake on the top of a mountain. The day was perfect, and we climbed quickly, taking breaks for pictures, water, and air. It is funny how much more difficult it is to breathe on a hike at 12,000 feet. ;-)

We made it to the top and Joe decided that we should make a raft. He was not be discouraged, and after a lot of hard work, we had constructed a suitable raft of logs and shoelace string. He took off and soared across the ice-cold lake. By this time, he had quite an audience. Several people told him that he was sure to make it on YouTube. ;-)

The tragic thing is that David rolled his ankle jumping from a hill. It was quite an adventure getting him down the three mile trail without putting pressure on it. My dad and Joe carried him, and even though they were adamant about getting David a horse to climb with, they carried him all the way down, rain storm and all.

Friday-

Today we drove from Estes to Breckenridge, our second vacation destination. It was a wonderful drive. We got to see the continental divide, the point where the rivers in the US go either west or east depending on what side of the divide they are on. We also got to see several of the huge over 14,000 feet mountains. Joe was a little scared. ;-)

We ate a BBQ joint and had fun throwing peanuts in each other's glasses. ;-) The home we got to stay at in Breckenridge was more than breathtaking. 4,000 square feet, 5 bedrooms, game room, jacuzzi, and designer everything. We had a lot of room to say the least. ;-) We explored the famous skiing town and got some Mi Casa mexican and groceries.

On the way home, we found a bear walking through an apartment complex. My dad and Joe leapt out of our car, much to my dismay, and went after the bear. I was thankful when I discovered they hadn't been eaten.

When we got home, we went in the jacuzzi after 10. It was against city rules so we were VERY quiet. Quite scary watching the people in the home next door mill about and hope that they don't see us.

The Colorado Chronicles- part 1

2009-07-03T10:17:00.000-07:00

Joe and I were able to embark on a legendary adventure to Colorado. We got back last night, and we were gone for 10 nights. It was such a memorable trip. I'd like to share with you a highlight from each day. ;-)

Monday-

Our first stay was in the lovely, small town of Estes Park. My dad chose this spot because it was minutes away from an amazingly beautiful National Park that we wanted to explore. The night of our arrival, after checking out our spacious condo, we went into town. Estes Park is similar to Hawaii in that it rains every afternoon. This evening was special though because it didn't just rain, it stormed. There was lightning and thunder exploding in the sky. I've never seen such a light show. We walked around the town with our eyes up and then walked home backwards so we could study it. What an wonderful example of the power of our God. We sang How Great Thou Art which accurately describes our experience.

Verse 1:
O Lord my God! When I in awesome wonder
Consider all the worlds Thy hands have made,
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

Refrain:
Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, how great Thou art!
Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee,
How great thou art, how great Thou art!

Tuesday-

We woke up early, went out to breakfast, and then hiked up a beautiful trail to Emerald Lake. The sky was a rick blue, the trees were a vivid green, and the crisp breeze kept us going. Here is a photo of Emerald Lake.

On the trip we were constantly in search of wildlife. Bears, deer, squirrels, and Magpie. No animal was ignored. After the hike, we found a very large group of Elk chillaxing on government land. We figure they knew that no one was supposed to follow them. We met a little boy who contrary to his parents' instructions, strutted over to the Elk, stood a few feet in front of them, and bellowed, "Take a picture of me! I'm not going to scare them away!" Let's just say, they didn't stay long.

Wednesday-

This morning we got to embark on a three-hour horseback ride! It was exciting. I got a horse named Medicine Hat who would have been revered by the Native Americans because of his special white mane and black tuft of hair in the front. Our guide, Kylee, had a very hard time keeping the three men of our group in line. My dad especially wanted to constantly let his horse creep through the forest instead of walk and eat everything in sight, two things that Kylee felt were unforgivable. It was quite entertaining to see her frustrated face. The scenery was the bomb, but our bums were thankful we didn't go for the 5 hour ride. ;-)

After the ride and some great lunch, we explored the park some more. Hiking, taking pictures, basking in the beauty that was there. No matter how much I love California weather, there is nothing more awe inspiring to me than the mountains.

Kings

2009-06-18T10:16:00.000-07:00

Joe and I stumbled upon a show called Kings. Joe thought it looked interesting so we watched it without knowing much of anything about it. We were amazed at the number of Biblical allegories present in the show! They kept turning up. If you ever watch it, see how many you can find.

I thought it quite intriguing and couldn't help thinking who thought to write the show. Was it a group of Christians or people that liked Bible stories? I don't know, but it is amazing how much of a person's world view, opinions, agenda get thrown into his show or book or art for that matter. Creative expression in these forms, and others, are an extension of a person's soul, sharing a piece of how he is and what he's about to the World.

"I write to you, fathers, because you have known him who is from the beginning. I write to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one. I writeto you, dear children, because you have known the Father." I John 2:13

Sadie

2009-06-16T09:00:00.000-07:00

A clip from My Darkness. Everyone is looking for a reason to hope. Will you give them one?

“Why do you care? Really, Mark. Why does it matter to you if I am another murder on that man’s conscience? What drives you to keep rescuing me? And what am I going to do when in another few weeks, you aren’t around any more.” I gritted my teeth and tore a hunk off of my dry blueberry bagel. I chewed it and watched the agony tear across his face. I was sadistically enjoying myself. Usually, I was the one who suffered.

“I want to protect you!” He tore a bite off of his wheat bagel and threw it in his mouth, mirroring me.

“Why? Did someone hire you to be my bodyguard, and if that is the case, who on this lonely planet cares enough about me to do that? Mark, look me in the eyes and tell me who it is because right now, you are the only person I know that seems to care a wink about whether or not I’m alive tomorrow.” I slammed my coffee cup I’d been cradling between my fingers onto the table and frowned. “And the worst part is, there are more people who’d like me dead or at least permanently out of their life forever. So tell me, who is it Mark? I want to know if there is any reason left to hope!” My voice wavered as my anger melted to despair.

He stared at me, his mouth open, his face screaming defeat. He let out a deep breath that I heard and felt. Its tension overwhelmed me. “I can’t tell you, Sadie. I can’t tell you exactly who I am or what I do or why I’m here.” He avoided my eyes. “You have to find that out for yourself. But, I can tell you one thing, someone did send me, and I do care about you a lot, and I am thankful I was sent so that I could have the opportunity to be here with you, today.”

His voice rose and fell, like a speeding roller coaster. “Sadie, you’re a treasure: to me, to your new family, to the one who sent me. I know that as a fact and no matter how many times you try to talk your way out of that truth, you can’t! You know why? Because a truth is a truth! It can’t be false or wrong or mislead because then it would be going against its own nature. Just like I was made to protect you.”

He reached out his hand, cupped my chin, and pulled me closer. “And I’m not leaving in three weeks. I can promise you that much.” His voice wavered.

I couldn’t bring myself to look into his eyes so I stared at his bagel. Was this for real? Was he for real? Had someone really sent him to me to rescue me, to save me from myself and the things that tear at my soul?

“What’s the ending of this story, Mark? Is it a happy ending? I have to know because I’m losing the will to fight! Just tell me if it gets easier.”

He shook his head, and I stared into his eyes. “I don’t know the future. I’m sorry. All I can offer you is the hope of a happy ending.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, and a single tear slid gently down my cheek, dangled on my chin, and dropped into my cup of coffee. I took a few deep breaths and sat back, breaking the hold Mark had on my chin. I needed room to think. To know whether or not I should believe him.

Inspiration

2009-06-14T21:02:00.001-07:00

These verses were the inspiration for my book, The Darkness. Read them and be encouraged and reminded. God is great, we know the end of the story, and we are on the winning side. Believe in Jesus and be set free. ;-)

"And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.

Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out."

Ephesians 6

Dreaming of kittens

2009-06-10T21:38:00.000-07:00

I was with Joe and my mom walking though a grassy field. I wandered off and found two man lying down playing with two tiny kittens, one black and the other gray. I went up to pet the kitties and naturally started talking to the men. They said they were so tired but couldn’t take a nap because the kitties would run away. Trying to be nice, I volunteered to watch the kittens for them for awhile. They were so excited and thankful. I brought the kittens back to Joe and my mom and told them the plan. They said I should invite the men back to our home to sleep in our spare rooms. I went back and did so, but they let me know that they wanted to sleep in their car. I nodded and left, carrying the kittens home. I noticed the men behind me piling into their red jeep, but it didn’t bother me. I had two baby kittens to tend to. Walking home, I noticed the men behind us several times, but we kept going. Once we were inside, I began to get the kittens situated. It was then that I thought of the possible danger we were in. I yelled to Joe and my mom to immediately lock all the doors and windows. I grabbed the phone and brought it with me into the closet. I called the police, telling them that two men were coming to get us. After the phone call, I crept to the window and looked outside. I found the two men and two others, holding guns, and creeping through our yard.

The moral of the story, kittens aren’t always as innocent as they appear. ;-)

May all who have breath praise the Lord.

2009-06-09T08:33:00.000-07:00

"The Lord merely spoke, and the heavens were created.

He breathed the word, and all the stars were born.

He gave the sea its boundaries

and locked the oceans in vast reservoirs.

Let everyone in the world fear the Lord,

and let everyone stand in awe of him.

For when he spoke, the world began!

It appeared at his command."

-Psalm 33

This isn't science fiction. This is the living, breathing truth. God lives, and he is active and present.

But not only did he speak the world into existence, he did the same for man. We are his: created, formed, and loved. However, unlike an artist who creates a painting to admire or to gain monetary gain, the Lord artfully created us so that we could be in relationship with him.

God Almighty is the potter who wants his pots to turn around and be different because of who he is and because of what he has given them. He desires his pots to live in light of the potter's sacrifice and the potter's beauty, to not let a day go by without praising the good things the potter has done in them and throughout the whole world.

If we fail to praise him, the rocks will cry out. He deserves our praise, glory, and adoration that much. He deserves and longs to be glorified in every nation. He created mankind for relationship and so that we could turn around and praise him.

Praise the Lord!

Worry

2009-06-04T08:40:00.000-07:00

I've decided to work consciously on not worrying the next few months. Worrying and over thinking about things is easy for me. But trusting in God every day, no matter what happens to provide for our needs (the jobs we need, the money we need, the health we need, and so much more) is difficult. I'm sure you've read this passage before, but I would encourage you to read it in this version from the Message. I think it offers some practical insights that are easy to overlook. So when things get stressful, do what I'm going to try and do, take a deep breath, look at the situation from God's perspective, and make a conscious decision to trust.

Matthew 6

"You can't worship two gods at once. Loving one god, you'll end up hating the other. Adoration of one feeds contempt for the other. You can't worship God and Money both.

"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.

"Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.

"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

Double Happiness

2009-06-03T09:51:00.000-07:00

Double Happiness, a large Chinese character, is traditionally used in Chinese wedding ceremonies. In the ancient Tang Dynasty, there was a student who was on his way to the capital to attend the nation's final examination where the top learners would be selected as ministers in the court. Unfortunately, he fell ill while he was passing through a mountain village. A herbalist doctor and his daughter found him, bringing him to their home and treating him well. The student recovered quickly. When he had to leave, he found it hard to say good-bye to the pretty girl, and so did she. They had fallen in love.

In response, the girl wrote down the right-hand part of a couplet for the student to match:

"Green trees against the sky in the spring rain while the sky set off the spring trees in the obscuration."

The student replied, "Well, I can make a match though it will not be easy. You'll have to wait till I have finished the examination." The young girl nodded, and the student left.

The young man won first place in the examination. The winners were then interviewed by the emperor and as luck would have it, the emperor asked the winners to finish a couplet. The emperor wrote:

"Red flowers dot the land in the breeze's chase while the land colored up in red after the kiss."

The young man realized immediately that the right-hand part of the couplet by the girl was the perfect fit to the emperor's couplet so he used it to answer without hesitation.

The emperor was so delighted to see the matching half of his couplet that he made the student his Minister in the court, allowing him to pay a visit to his hometown before holding the post.

The young man returned to the village where he had first met the girl. He found her at home, and he told her the story of the emperor's couplet.

They soon got married. For the wedding, the couple DOUBLED the Chinese character, HAPPY, on a red piece of paper and put it on the wall to express their happiness for the two events. From then on, it has become a Chinese social custom.

The Midnight Visitor

2009-06-01T15:50:00.000-07:00

I was sleeping on my side as I’m inclined to do. I opened my eyes in the middle of the night because something had awakened me. Everything was dimly lit, the moon casting faint shadows into our room through the shades beside our bed. I turned to my back, stretched out my toes, and stared up at the darkened ceiling, trying to get comfortable.

I found myself gazing up at a creepy old man crawling out of our ceiling. It seemed as if a trap door had been cut into the ceiling directly above my side of the bed, and he was using it to crawl out of our ceiling and land on top of us. He was an elderly man, and his white, bearded face scowled back at me as he began to lower himself through the trap door.

Worried he was going to drop onto our bed and harm my husband and I, I threw the covers off, leapt out of the bed, and ran to the wall where the light switch was. I flipped on the lights and yelled, “A man is going to drop on us!” Joe, my husband, sat up and looked around wildly, his eyes a strange mixture of sleep and fear.

My eyes eventually adjusted to the brightness of the room, and I stared up at the ceiling from which the man had been hanging. He was gone. I shook my head and looked again. The faint lines that had marked the trap door were no longer there, and the scowling man had vanished, just like that. My heart continued to race as I assured myself that it all been just a dream.

A tribute to my lovely sister

2009-05-29T19:33:00.000-07:00

The many faces of Lauriah Hollins taken by me at Mission Viejo Lake

How do you love?

2009-05-29T16:34:00.001-07:00

We have been going through The Five Love Languages with our small group. It's quite interesting. If you've never had a chance to take the test to determine what love lnguage you are, go here to take the test online: http://edified.org/myspace/lovelanguage. Your score will automatically be tabulated, and you will be able to see how many points you recieved for each of the five love languages.

1. The first love language is quality time. For me, this one is a tie for second place. If this is your highest, if your spouse or significant other wants to show you their love, they must show you through their time. Going to the movies, playing a game, or taking a walk on the beach with your significant other are the kinds of things you need.

2. The second love language is physical touch. If this is your highest love language (it's mine ;-), this means that to feel loved you need physical contact. Hugging, cuddling, kissing, these are the kinds of things you crave to feel connected to someone.

3. The third love language is acts of service. If you run highest on this love language (my husband Joe does), it means that your special someone needs to do things for you to show their love for you. A homemade meal, folded laundry, a clean car, these are kinds of things that fill your love tank.

4. The next love language is words of affirmation (the other one that I'm tied with for second place). This means you need others to express through their words how special you are to them. Words of praise for who you are, what you do, and what you bring to the table are the kinds of things you seek.

5. The final love language is recieving gifts. Thankfully, my husband is low on this love language because I'm weakest at giving this love language. If this is your strongest language, it means you need gifts to feel loved. Small trinkets, meals out, necklaces, a new watch, these are the kinds of things that fill your love tank.

Why should you and I care about all this?

Everyone has one or more love languages they are strongest in, meaning that they need these things to feel loved. Everyone also has one or more love language that are easiest for them to give.

Problems can result when, for example, the love language your husband needs is acts of service, but you are really good and continue to give him physical touch and words of affirmation. Even though you shouldn't stop doing these things, it would be wise to find ways you can serve him so that he will feel loved. Your husband and your relationship will thank you.

So take the test and make sure your significant other does as well. Talk about the things that make each of you feel loved. Take notes of the ways you can love your significant other and then start working to fill his or her love tank.

A stronger relationship will most likely result.

Wandering through an open field

2009-05-26T12:31:00.000-07:00

We decided it would be a great idea to take our kitty on a walk yesterday. We fastened a rope onto his collar and opened wide the front door, allowing him to wander.

After seeing how hesitant he was to walk along the paved road, we brought him to a large, grassy athletic field. We set him in the center, his long leash trailing behind him, and waited, wanting to see what he would do.

He did the most curious thing. First, he would walk decidedly forward. Then he would pause and walk assuredly to the right. After traveling that way awhile, we would turn around and come back to the place he had left. He continued to walk in circles, seeming to be completely confused as to which direction to take.

Joe and I sat in the grass as the sun majestically dropped below the trees and laughed at him. He would get so much farther if he picked one direction and stuck with it. If only he knew what he was doing.

Finally, he crept back to our arms. We lifted him up, patted him on the head, and carried him home where he decidedly sprawled out on the soft carpet and went to sleep.

I laughed at him, but I couldn't help thinking that I often do the same thing. Not able to see God's big picture, I often wander.

How important it is that I seek wisdom, instruction, and direction from the source of all truth and wisdom, the map maker himself. Like Joe and I yesterday with little Fabio, he waits on the sidelines for us to come over to him and ask him for wisdom and direction, and he promises in his Word to provide.

"I instruct you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths." Proverbs 4:11

Counting sand

2009-05-25T09:38:00.000-07:00

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them,

they would outnumber the grains of sand.

When I awake,

I am still with you.

Joe and I went to the beach yesterday. Beautiful places restore me. I feel closer to God and have the oppourtunity to be still. Have you ever lifted a handful of sand and let it sift through your open fingers. Have you tried to count the small particles that drop from the palm of your hand to the sand below?

If you could count the grains of sand on all the beaches of the world, that number would not be enough to continue the sheer mass of thoughts that God has for you and for me.

I am often overwhelmed with my thoughts. They move so quickly, spinning and twirling through the dark recesses of my mind. They can often be confusing or conflicting. But you and I can seek peace in the fact that God's thoughts towards us are many and that to him you are precious, a unique, special creation of his hand. Ask him for clariy through the confusion. Ask him for the wisdom to make the right decisions even when your thoughts on the issue are confusing.

Yesterday, I let my mind wander through the events of the past few weeks. So many things have happened. Life is in a continual surge of change. Every day is different than the one before.

I remember hearing advice from a marriage book that said how important it was to grow and change WITH your partner because a month, or a year, or five years down the road neither of you will be the same person you were before. I know that Joe and I aren't the same people we were when we met over four years ago. We've been changed through our experiences, God, each other, friends, family, and more. We must learn how to grow and flex and change with each other. If we don't, one of us will be broken or isolated through the change.

I find that it is more difficult for me to adjust to the ways that I'm changing than the ways that Joe is. I find that I have more grace for others than I do for myself. I don't know if you've ever struggled with that. The bar that I set for myself is higher than the one I set for those I love.

Learn to be gracious to yourself as you change. Learn to be gracious with others as they change. And continue to pray and seek God through times of change so that the change will be honoring to him at all times.

Why Pray?

2009-05-21T10:55:00.001-07:00

Eph. 6:18 from the Message was so timely for me that I wanted to share it with you. Parentheses are my additions. ;-)

“Be prepared. (through prayer, reading the Word, and fellowshiping wth other believers) You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. (God will never give us more than we can handle with his help). Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. (Put on the full armor of God). Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. (May our life be filled with this oh so essential things! I need help with peace!) Learn how to apply them. (Doing is harder than reading or thinking or learning). You'll need them throughout your life. (Every single day!) God's Word is an indispensable weapon. (The words not the Bible itself, although it worked in Tom & Huck ;-) In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. (Essential) Pray hard and long (And often). Pray for your brothers and sisters (and those who have yet to believe). Keep your eyes open (Be alert!). Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out (Don't give up!).”

Eph. 6:18 in the NIV.

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints."

Son of Hasam

2009-05-20T09:23:00.000-07:00

Hello friends,
We have had the opportunity to host two new friends from South Africa who are staying at Saddleback as part of a pastor's conference. The pastors have come from ALL over the world! What a testimony of God's faithfulness to bring all nations to himself.
We were speaking with our new friends last night, and they shared with us an interesting piece of news that we had never heard before. The son of the leader of an extremist Muslim group has become a Christian. He gave up everything in his country to turn to Christ. MANY want to kill him for forsaking Islam. He now lives in CA and is a powerful advocate of reaching Muslims for Christ. Please read the news story below and click on the link to watch an interview with him. It is very interesting. He is working on creating a website and a program that people can use when reaching Muslims. I will let you know what I find out!
Praise the Lord!

What better way to start the new year then to share with you a testimony of a son of a Hamas leader who has come to Christ and forsaken all to follow Him.
Today Fox News is reporting the story of Mosab Hassan Yousef, which also includes a video from August of 2008.
Yousef, 30, said he realized the true nature of Hamas and radical Islam during a stint in an Israeli prison. He renounced his Muslim faith, left his family behind in Ramallah and converted to Christianity.
"Islam is not the word of God," said Yousef. "If you want to be offended it's your problem. But you know something? Go study. Think for a second that I might be right. So wake up, look at your path, see where you're going. Are you really going to heaven with 72 virgins after you kill yourself and kill another 20 people?"
Yousef has sought asylum in the United States and now attends an evangelical Christian church on Barabbas Road in San Diego, Calif.

The Story of Fabio Gaston

2009-05-17T13:47:00.000-07:00

Joe and I have a kitty. His name is Fabio Gaston. Some may think this is a strange name to choose for a cat. If you haven't heard the reasons behind this strange name choice, read on... ;-)

When Joe and I were dating, he proudly told me that while on a month long Mexico missions trip he had picked the name of his first son. I was thrilled until he told me what it was- Fabio Gaston.

He chose Fabio from the name of the male model who regularly poses on the front cover of trashy romance novels and also made his debut on "I can't believe it's not butter." Gaston for the prideful character from Beauty of the Beast.

Joe claimed that he couldn't think of a more manly name for his son. A hunky male model/town hero who eats three dozen eggs each morning.
Even though I wanted to marry Joe from the get-go, I brushed aside these comments as jokes, until they continued even after we had said, "I do."
He was still determined for our helpless newborn to bear this name with its many implications.

So I did what any helpless wife would do, I begged Joe to let us get a cat, and then I convinced him that the best thing we could do for his future was name him the heroic, strong name of Fabio Gaston.

Problem solved.

Now this sweet kitty is a heroic, egg eating, model, but our first son's reputation is still intact.

In the meantime, we continue to seek out good alternatives to our first son's name. We still can't find a name that we both like. Let us know if you have any suggestions. ;-)

One thing we did get right, Fabio Gaston LOVES to eat. ;-)

2009-05-14T07:49:00.000-07:00

Me...a turtle

2009-05-13T17:24:00.000-07:00

My husband and I received 2 free nights up in San Diego. It was a great trip even though it flew by. We went to a seminar hosted by Pam Farrel. Bill Farrel was our pastor awhile back and now they are internationally renowned authors and speakers, pretty awesome. We ate a free continental breakfast, hiked at Hollins Lake for a few hours, explored Balboa park and 2 free museums, toured a big mall and ate dinner, relaxed at home, went in the Jacuzzi while eating McDonald's ice cream, and watched a Chuck Norris movie before drifting off to sleep. A pretty wonderful trip especially the Chuck Norris movie.... Wow! ;-)

Anywho, while we were traveling through the canyons of San Diego looking for the lake that bears my family's name, we found a rather large turtle walking across the road. Joe decided that it would be fun to take a picture with a turtle, and after kicking Joe ferociously, the turtle decided he better hide and hide he did for the remainder of his time with us.

How many times am I like that turtle? Missing out on the things that God has for me, the adventures, the opportunities, the blessings that have been laid out for me because I am too afraid to try, too afraid to stick my head out and go for it.

Today, remember our turtle, whom we decided to name Herman Tortuga, and live confidently, taking intelligent risks to love God, love others, and live for the Kingdom.

Blessings!

Be quiet, there is a victory in progress...

2009-05-04T08:49:00.000-07:00

I got the opportunity last night to go to my first Pentacostal church service (a friend invited us to hear his favorite pastor and we agreed). It was 2 hours and fifteen minutes and very different than any service I had ever experienced. The choir was swaying, the music was booming, the audience was responding verbally to the message, there was an altar call, laying on of hands during the service, and people weeping during the message.

1. I loved the diversity of the people who attended the church. As the pastor himself said, it reminded me of what it will look like in Heaven, with all types of people worshipping before the Lord.

2. I loved the freedom it provided. It was very evident that the people were not afraid of worshipping the Lord in whatever way they felt led to. There was dancing, kneeling, swaying, hands being raised. It definitely made me feel more comfortable to worship God without worrying about what everyone else was doing.

3. The third thing I liked about the service was the message. The preacher (he was from Georgia ;-) taught us: Be quiet, there is a victory in progress.

He used many examples from the Bible, such as the familiar story of the Israelites complaining about the giants in the land which resulted in their 40 years of wandering in the desert, to teach us that we need to do less talking/grumbling/complaining and more waiting on the Lord. He shared that with the grim headlines springing up everywhere you look, it is very easy to become negative! I know this is true in my own life. It is easier most of the time to see the things that are wrong and focus on them than the things that are right.

He used the verse, which I want to focus on this week, "Be still and know that I am God."

When I feel tempted to complain or grumble or for me the big one is worry about the things of this life, I need to stop, be quiet, and wait for God's deliverance and victory.

Give me a Revelation!

2009-05-04T08:30:00.000-07:00

So Joe and I go the opportunity to go to a Third Day concert. We got free tickets from a friend and the amazing 3 hour concert was definitely worth the drive out to downtown Los Angeles.

I have been praying for the past few months for the very things that were found within one of the songs that Third Day sang. I have been praying for direction. That I would know what I should in my life in every area with jobs, with ministries, with China, with future decisions, and so much more.

I am continually hit with decisions, and my desire is to make the right choice. I desire to follow God even in the small things. I know to follow God's word but in some things such as when there are many seemingly good options, it can be difficult to know which one to choose. So this song has been my prayer. As I said before, you should listen to it on youtube because it it amazing!

Here is a link to listen: http://www.yoursonglyrics.com/revelation-third-day/

Revelation

My life has led me down the road that’s so uncertain

And now I am left alone and I am broken,

Tryin’ to find my way, tryin’ to find the faith that’s gone
This time, I know that you are holding all the answers

I’m tired of losing hope and taking chances,

On roads that never seem,

To be the ones that bring me home

Give me a revelation,

Show me what to do

Cause I’ve been tryin’ to find my way,

I haven’t got a clue

Tell me should I stay here,

Or do I need to move

Give me a revelation

I’ve got nothing without You (x2)

My life has led me down this path that’s ever winding

Through every twist and turn I’m always finding,

That I am lost again (I am lost again)

Tell me when this road will ever end

Give me a revelation,

Show me what to do

Cause I’ve been tryin’ to find my way,

I haven’t got a clue

Tell me should I stay here,

Or do I need to move

Give me a revelation

I’ve got nothing without You (x2)

I don’t know where I can turn

Tell me when will I learn

Won’t You show me where I need to go

Oh oh, Let me follow Your lead,

I know that it’s the only way that I can get back home

Give me a revelation,

Show me what to do

Cause I’ve been trying to find my way,

I haven’t got a clue

Tell me should I stay here,

Or do I need to move

Give me a revelation

I’ve got nothing without You (X2)

Oh, give me a revelation

I’ve got nothing without You (X2)

"Marriage is what brings us together today" -Princess Bride

2009-05-01T22:10:00.000-07:00

I didn't write the poem below, but I liked it. I was thinking what I should write, and I kept thinking about how thankful I was that God had created this thing called marriage. Joe and I visited a newly married friend couple today, and it reminded me afresh just how amazing marriage is. He could have designed the intricate workings of society a hundred different ways, but he decided to pattern it after a family. This world is built on families, millions of them. Families joined, for the most part, by the institution of marriage.

Marriage: to join two lives, to learn to give, to sacrifice, and to seek God for your future-together.

God created marriage,for he knew we'd need a friend.

To share our hopes and dreams with, and love us 'till the end.

God created marriage, to teach us how to share.

All our earthly assets, and make us more aware;

That someone else's feelings, are more important than our own.

And not one of us is perfect, so we can't cast a stone.

God created marriage,to teach us to forgive.

His life was our example, He showed us how to give.

God created marriage, to teach us how to say.

"I love you" to another person, each and every day.

(Amen to that ;-).

Changed

2009-04-29T15:22:00.000-07:00

I pray that I would improve my day-to-day devotion to Christ and allow the theoretical things I learn about God to impact the practical things I do for God.

Frozen, stiff

Skeleton feel

Chattering teeth

Can barely move

Darkness all around

Speck of light

Turn my head

Heart trying hard to beat

Light expands

Reaches up

Stretching into space

Broken dark

Goodbye stars

Gentle warmth

Hands tingle

Breath a cloud

Rising higher

Fireball climbs

Try to move my feet

Stand upon them

Walk around

How I love the daylight

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

2009-04-28T08:24:00.000-07:00

The sun was beginning to dip behind the row of houses as I drove around on a Friday afternoon on April 15th, frustrated. I was traversing through Compton, a particularly tough neighborhood in Los Angeles County. I circled, stopped, and passed through neighborhoods as I desperately searched for the volunteer location where I had been twice before, serving the youth through a program put on by BIOLA University where I attended.

Not only was I notorious for getting lost, I was also notorious for being unprepared. I preferred to wing it when it came to directions, enjoying the thrill of finding a location even though I wasn’t exactly sure where it was. Crazy maybe, but it usually worked.

I stopped at another traffic light and flipped open my phone. No one had called wondering where I was. I was new to the ministry and had forgotten to procure anyone’s contact information. I quickly scrolled through my list of contacts and came to my roommate’s name.

I paused as I wondered how she was faring at the annual Intercultural Studies get-together. The event was held in one of our professor’s backyards. There was a BBQ, a time of singing, sleeping under the stars, and plenty of socializing. I had planned to attend the event late, once my evening in Compton was complete.

I checked the clock. I was already almost forty-five minutes late to help the youth. Decided, I changed course from the neighborhoods to the freeway.
I made it to the BBQ as the grilled hot dogs and hamburgers were being passed out. I grabbed some grub and found a spot on one of the many blankets laid out on the grass for the event. Nearing the end of my sophomore year as an Intercultural Studies Major, I knew a good majority of the students at the event. So when a tall, dark, and handsome young man I had never met before grabbed a corner of the blanket I was sharing with two other girls, I was intrigued.

We introduced ourselves, and he proceeded to try and stump us with a challenging mystery riddle. After five minutes of musing, the two other girls I was with left the blanket to get some more food. I, on the other hand, was hooked. I was determined to unlock the riddle and even more determined to get to know the riddler.

Finally, I solved the riddle. Impressed by my persistence, he began to question me about myself. I did the same. We discovered that we had very similar backgrounds, had similar likes and dislikes, and as far as life direction went, we were heading down the same road.

Very soon, I was unaware that anyone else was at the event. All I could see and hear was him: his dark, curly hair; intense eyes; strong voice; and amazing heart. No one disturbed us for the remainder of the evening. We sat in our small corner by the fire pit and talked for eight hours straight, sharing with each other about our life experiences and discussing things. It was so natural that I was forced to sit back several times and shake my head. I couldn’t believe that we had just met!

I started nonchalantly questioning him regarding the things that I had on my checklist of attributes that I was looking for in a husband. As he successfully passed point after point, the exuberant joy in my heart began to stretch.

It was two AM and more than a few people had already dozed off for the night, snuggling in a sleeping bag on the grass or slipping into one of the many tents spread out on the lawn. I wasn’t ready to say good night yet. I was confident that if I did, this dream guy would disappear as quickly as the morning fog. I suggested that we stay up until the sun rose, something I had always wanted to do. We could sit by the fire pit and continue our conversation. Unfortunately, he didn’t think it was as good of an idea as I did. He said goodnight and meandered to the back half of the lawn. I unrolled the sleeping bag I had brought and pulled it as close to the fire pit as possible, staring into the stars as I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up as the sun drenched my face with light. I blinked my sleepy lids open, trying to get a clearer picture of everything that had transpired last night. Had I been dreaming?

As the sun got higher, people started moving slowly out of their tents. I sat in the middle of a large group and cooked some biscuits over the fire. There was no sign of my mystery man from the night before.

Just as I was about to lose hope, I turned around and saw him, ducking around a large tent to join the early risers. I raced over and offered him a fresh biscuit.

Saying goodbye at his car that morning was hard. There were a lot of people at Biola, and I wanted to guarantee somehow that I would see him again. For some reason that I couldn’t explain, I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame. I leaned in to give him a hug and whispered, “Let’s not make this a one time thing.”

I went home that afternoon and wrote in my journal that I had met the man I was going to marry. I later found out that he had told his roommate he had found the girl he was going to marry that same afternoon. Seventeen months later, he asked me to be his bride in the same spot where we had first met. This time we stayed up all night and were able to watch the sun rise. Six months later, we were married. When people question whether love at first sight exists, I shake my head and tell them our story.

Savannah

2009-04-24T16:52:00.000-07:00

Families come in all shapes and sizes, but for the children who live at New Day Foster Home in China, family is an idea, a hope, and a wish that they have for their future. Each child at New Day has been abandoned by their family for one reason or another, most of them because their families couldn’t afford the expensive medical care that they required, such as intensive heart surgery.

For Savannah, it was a different story. She had been abandoned when she was two years old because she had been born a dwarf. Going on seven years old, Savannah was the oldest child at the foster home. The home was constantly getting new children to care for and constantly sending their current children out to be adopted. Savannah had waited six long years. Her unfilled longings for a forever family was beginning to do a number on her self-confidence. She had watched so many children walk through the doors of the foster home holding the hands of their forever family. Savannah’s hands were still empty.

It was an ordinary, warm summer day in China. It was song time at New Day Foster Home’s preschool and all the kids and helpers were involved, singing a high-pitched ballad of multiple preschool songs.

Suddenly, Elva, who worked at the foster home, came around the corner and called Savannah out of the room. Since the children were often called out the room to attend physical therapy, see a doctor to receive a check-up for their various medical conditions, or receive a lesson in potty training, her exit was hardly noticed by the students, staff, and volunteers. The day at preschool progressed as usual, going from high-energy song time to a calmer period of arts and crafts. That day we were designing rainbows on construction paper from a variety of different colored plastic beads. I was helping the children choose the beads and stick them on correctly, enjoying myself as usual.

Suddenly, Savannah flew through the room, holding a white sheet of paper high in the air. She was beaming. She excitedly ran over to the preschool teacher, showed her the piece of paper, and started chattering excitedly in Mandarin. I left the child I was helping for a moment to find out what all the excitement was about.

I reached Savannah who also knew a lot of English, and asked, “What is it Savannah?”

She proudly lifted the piece of paper to my face and exclaimed, full of smiles and giggles, “I have a family. I’m going home to see my family in America!”

I lifted the paper from Savannah’s fingers and took my time gazing into the faces of each of the members of Savannah’s new family. Her new mom, dad, brother, and sister were all holding hands, smiling. It was obvious from the picture that each and every one of them was a dwarf like Savannah. The brother not only was a dwarf but also had been adopted from China not long ago. Families come in all shapes and sizes, and my little friend Savannah had finally found the family that she had been waiting a lifetime for. Her years of patient waiting had not been in vain for she had found the perfect forever family.

My Pact

2009-04-24T16:47:00.001-07:00

I have made a pact to myself, to be thankful, excited, and happy about every hour of every day of my life, to look at each moment that I have been give and to see the beautiful things in it.

The last five days the trees have been greener, the people have been sweeter, and the food has tasted better. ;0)

This week has been good, and I encourage you to do your best if only for a week, to focus on living for today, not tomorrow, not the weekend, not next month, not next year, but today. It is often so difficult to do, but when done, so inherently rewarding.

My Struggle

2009-04-23T12:54:00.000-07:00

I have a desire to make a difference. I struggle with this desire every day of my life, especially recently.

I was a junior high teacher last year, and even though I struggled a lot with the teaching and not feeling well, I was at peace with the fact that I was doing good for people, that I was making a difference in the lives of my students, each and every day.

Now, I help Joe with his work in every way that I can, take care of our home, and write novels and articles. Even though I love what I do and Joe loves it as well because I am so much happy on a regular basis, I struggle with not feeling effective. I struggle with the fact that I am not doing enough.

I have a hard time being content, I always have. Not with the things I have or don't have. It's never been about that, but the things that I am doing with my life. Even though I love my life so much and have so much to be thankful for, I have a hard time maintaining the same level of peace that I had last year when I knew I was changing lives for the better.

I think I was designed with a desire to be serving others. That is one of the many reasons why I feel called to missions, giving my life in service to others so that they can find and follow Jesus Christ seems like a dream come true.

Joe is constantly thinking of things for me to do to keep me busy, good things that need to be done, and even though that helps some with my dissatisfaction, it cannot erase the fact that what I am really searching for is making a difference in people's lives, the kind of life and the way of life that is not easily achieved when you stay at home and do paperwork.

I don't know that the future will hold, and I would like to think that I will be ready for whatever that is, but I'm not sure. The uncertainty looming in every detail of my future is unnerving at times. But when I'm not afraid, when I remember that through every mountain and valley God will be holding me, it is exhilarating, knowing that our desire is to give God our lives completely so that he can use them to accomplish his purposes.

I am confident that God has big plans for his children, and even though I often marvel at how that could be the case for me who fails so often, I rejoice in that fact, and I am confident that the life I could build without him and the dreams and plans that I could construct without consulting Him are nothing compared to the things that He has in store for me.

"For every good and perfect thing comes from above, from the Father, who doesn't change..."

Romans

2009-04-23T12:50:00.000-07:00

"For I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes..."

Blanket Rides

2009-04-21T17:23:00.001-07:00

Since I am into tributes today, a tribute to my dad.

Darkness…I remember darkness, and the cold, smooth feel of the chills as they rippled down, down to the base of my spine.
Silence…I remember silence as I rounded each slippery corner, edgy lest the monster reach out and grasp me.
Exhilarated…I remember being exhilarated as I zoomed down the slanted staircase, crashing cozily into the blankets below.
Laughter…I remember my laughter as I asked to ride again and again. Blanket rides…I remember my father’s blanket rides filled with darkness, silence, and exhilaration glazed over with just the right amount of fearful anticipation of what may lay beyond every corner.

Written on July 16th, 2002

2009-04-21T17:19:00.001-07:00

I wrote this journal entry in high school. I remember writing it too, outside on the hamock. It was a beautiful summer day, and I was dreaming about and praying for my future husband. I could never have asked for a better answer to my prayer than my husband, Joe Gallucci. ;-) I love you!

To my husband to be…
I have dreamed often of this time, the excitement of wedding preparations, the joy of loving someone with all of myself.
I have longed for you at times when things at school or in my life are unstable and people crush me, hurt me, leave me without caring.
I’ve longed for your protecting arms.
I’ve even imagined your kiss before and how amazing the day will be when we are finally united, and you are mine and I am yours- forever and completely.
I have been praying for you too. That your life has been one of devoted to God and his Word and that you always put him first because he deserves it.
I wonder right now what you will be like. What will your habits be, what will you look like, and what will your background be.
I am very excited to meet you, to explore you, to love you…
I just want you to know that I am saving myself- waiting especially for you. Love, Hayley

Wait for the Lord...

2009-04-16T08:09:00.000-07:00

For any of you who might be struggling in the place that you feel stuck in right now, I want to offer some encouragement from a dear friend of mine who is doing exactly what I wish I were doing at the moment. I need to learn as she shares to be patient, to wait for the Lord, and to fully use this day that he has given to the best of our abilities.

"I don't think God cares about our physical location half as much as we do. He cares about our hearts. You aren't wasting time or spinning your wheels now... it is your life, and as you live it, He'll use you in ways you can't imagine. Don't grow weary, discouraged, or give up... just keep on going, one step at a time. Someday you might be able to look back over this season of your life and see its value."

Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.